Forgotten
by Laimelde
Summary: Jack's left, and Ianto can't cope. He leaves Torchwood and starts a new life. But what will happen when Jack returns?  Set post Torchwood Season One and Doctor Who Season Three. Goes AU from there.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first ever fanfic -so please be gentle! I actually stole the premise for this story from another story on FF (don't remember which now sorry) where the other story had taken a very different approach to what happened. The idea had stuck in my head that it could go differently, so eventually I figured I should just write it :)**

**I'll be posting every day (life permitting) til all nine chapters are up. Rated M for safety -there's a bit of self harm near the end, but nothing too serious (relatively speaking..). Also, I really struggled with picking the genres. Sorry if it ended up misleading.  
**

**Please, _pretty_ please, review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do. I do own this piece of text though. And I'm not making any money from it, obviously. Wish I could!**

* * *

Owen stuck his head into the room where Ianto was working amongst shelves and boxes of paperwork.

"Any chance of a coffee, Teaboy?" Ianto nodded.

"Sure, give me five."

"Cheers, mate." Owen headed back to his desk. Ianto sighed, finished filing the folder in his hand, then left the archives and headed up to the kitchen. He made each person's coffee, then placed them carefully on the tray and headed down to the main hub to hand them out. Toshiko's workstation was closest, and she turned to smile as he approached.

"Thanks Ianto -oh." She grimaced as she looked at the tray, then gave him a sad smile. "Oh, Ianto."

Ianto looked down at the tray in confusion for a moment, then realised. He'd made five coffees again. His hands shook and he quickly put the tray down on the coffee table nearby. Tosh stepped over and pulled him into a hug. Owen glanced over but decided not to comment.

"It's been a whole month," Ianto said quietly. "I should be used to it by now."

"It's just habit," Tosh assured him. "It's not a big deal. Which one was his?" Ianto pointed it out. "OK, I'll get rid of this one while you hand the others out."

"Thanks Tosh," said Ianto gratefully. He appreciated her quiet approach -he didn't want to make a fuss, just get on with the job. He left her cup on her workstation, then handed one to Owen and headed over to Gwen's desk.

"Thanks Ianto," Gwen said cheerfully.

"You're welcome," he replied, giving his usual small smile. He turned back to the archives with his own coffee in hand.

"Ianto, while you're here.."

"Yes Gwen?" he said, turning back.

"Can you take these reports? They're all done, ready to be archived."

"Of course." Another little smile.

"Thanks hun."

* * *

Back amongst the shelves and boxes, Ianto put the new files down and slumped into his chair. Jack was gone, and he wasn't coming back. It had been a whole month, and there'd been no word from him. He'd left without saying goodbye, and hadn't contacted them since -so the logical conclusion was that he didn't want to have contact with them. He was gone, and that was it.

Ianto didn't want to believe it. He thought Jack had cared about him, or at least cared about his team, more than that. But the fact was, the team had mutinied against Jack and released Abaddon from his prison beneath the rift. Jack had had to sacrifice himself to end Abaddon's killing spree, and ended up dead for days. It was no surprise then, that when Jack's Doctor had appeared, Jack wouldn't think twice about leaving.

They knew Jack had gone with the Doctor. When he first disappeared, Tosh had quickly found the CCTV footage of Jack running out of the hub and across the Plass, and they'd seen him grab onto the strange blue box as it faded from sight. Tosh & Gwen had gone up there to run some tests, and there was indeed some strange signals left for them to pick up, but nothing helpful. More useful was the information found on the mainframe & in the archives: there's was lots on info on Torchwood's number one enemy, after all, and Ianto quickly identified the blue box as the TARDIS. That was when Gwen had remembered some comments Jack had made about finding 'the right kind of doctor', and the matter had seemed pretty self-explanatory after that. Jack had left voluntarily, and there was no reason to believe he'd return.

They'd all been a bit lost at first, but the rift didn't stop spitting things out and before long Gwen had taken charge. It made sense, after all, none of the other three wanted to lead anyway. They were still finding their feet, but they'd get there.

Except Ianto didn't think he could. He was trying, but every time he turned around he'd see something that reminded him of Jack, or he'd walk past the office and expect to see Jack at the desk, or he'd see something in the corner of his eye and think it was Jack. And he couldn't get used to only making four coffees. He felt like a fool; he knew Jack had never loved him the way he loved Jack, but he had been ok with that so long as he could have Jack around. But to go on like this, without Jack at all? Ianto was miserable.

Eventually, he made a decision. He couldn't go on like this forever, but couldn't see it getting any better. Torchwood without Jack wasn't ever going to be bearable. Better to leave it all behind. The others would never let him go though, so he'd have to do this carefully. And it would take time.

One month then. One month, to set it all up -and if Jack hadn't returned by then, or at least sent word, then Ianto would know for sure he wasn't coming back.

* * *

This was it then, Ianto thought. Two months, to the day, since Jack left. There had been no word from Jack, and all his preparations were in place. And he'd been right; it hadn't gotten any easier. He still missed Jack terribly, and spent most days hiding in the archives so the others wouldn't notice his moods. The rest of the team had fallen into a new pattern and seemed to be going alright. They would cope without him.

It was getting late. Ianto headed back out of the archives. Gwen and Owen had gone home, only Toshiko still sat at her computer.

"Ianto, still here?" she smiled as he came past collecting empty coffee cups.

"Yeah, I think I'm finished in the archives for today though. You heading off soon?"

"Just packing up now. Did you want to grab some dinner with me?"

"Nah, not tonight thanks. I'm going to finish tidying here and in the kitchen," he waved the dirty cups at her, "then I think I'll get an early night."

"Fair enough. Well, I've diverted all the alarms to Owen's phone since it's his night, so you only need to lock up on your way out. See you tomorrow."

"Bye Tosh." Ianto carefully kept his tone light, and headed into the kitchen. He washed up the cups from the day, and finished tidying as usual. Half an hour after Tosh left, he figured it was safe to assume no one would be ducking back into the hub for anything they'd forgotten.

Sitting down at Tosh's computer, he mentally ran through his checklist. He'd been able to do most of the preparations gradually over the last month, so there wasn't too much to do tonight. A few minutes later he was done. Then he went down to the autopsy bay, and rummaged til he found the right bag of pills. Taking some, he carefully put everything back, and stood in the middle of the hub for a moment, checking if he'd left any items behind. Oh well, what would it matter if he had? He wouldn't look for them again after tonight anyway. One last thing: change the CCTV records to show that he'd gone back to the archives after cleaning up, and remove the footage of himself at Tosh's desk and in the autopsy bay. Then, placing a note on Tosh's desk, he left the hub for the last time. It was hard, now that he had to do it, harder than he'd expected. He couldn't afford to dwell though. He went up through the tourist office, and only turned at the last moment, to wave sadly at the CCTV camera, with a little smile.

"Goodbye," he whispered, and left.

* * *

Ianto arrived at his new flat. It was in the outer suburbs of Cardiff, in an area which saw only occasional rift activity. Ianto wondered if it had been overkill; there were over a million people in the city, there were probably lots of people living closer to the Bay who didn't cross paths with Torchwood. Still, it didn't hurt.

Going inside, he put down his keys. He took the small amount of cash he was carrying out of his wallet, and transferred it to his new wallet. The new one already had his new drivers licence, bank cards and other items in his new name. Then he went to the bedroom. There was a black box on the bed, a bit bigger than a shoebox. He took the lid off. Inside were the last remaining items that would remind him of his time at Torchwood. A few photos, a few trinkets, a lovely thank-you email Tosh had once sent him. A copy of his Torchwood personnel file. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the stopwatch. He looked at it sadly, and memories rose up unbidden. Suddenly he was on the verge of tears again, and he shoved the thoughts away. _This_ was why he was doing it. He couldn't go on like this, at risk of crying every time something reminded him of Jack. No, this was for the best, he told himself. He put the stopwatch in the box along with his old wallet, replaced the lid, and sealed it. After a moment, he grabbed some paper and a pen and stuck a note on top:

"Do not open until 2050, or unless terminally ill."

Forty years. He'd be 65 by then, too old for Torchwood to care about, and -if he should somehow get involved with Torchwood again -his death would not be the sad loss of a youth, but rather the more acceptable loss of a man in his later years. A man who'd lived a normal life, and hopefully achieved something with it. This way he would have a chance to remember these years, remember those he had loved and lost, without letting them dictate his future.

He sighed. He really didn't want to do this, but what choice was there? He had made his decision, and despite all his optimistic hopes and dreams, it was clear that this was still the only option. To stay was to condemn himself to misery. To do this, was to give himself a chance at a happy life.

He took the box and went to the linen cupboard, reached up to push it to the back of the topmost shelf, where it was out of sight. Then he placed other items in front of it. Closing the cupboard door, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, then went to sit in his cosy new lounge chair. He pulled the small pills from his pocket, and without hesitation, took them. After a few minutes he felt himself getting drowsy, and he relaxed as he went to sleep.

* * *

The man in the chair woke up. It was morning, and the light from the overcast day outside flooded the room. He rubbed his eyes and tried to think where he was. Looking about, he noticed a tape recorder on the small table beside his lounge chair, with a post-it note on top: 'If I don't remember what happened, press play'. He pressed play.

"_Well, ok, ummm. My name is Tristyn Lewis, although I should hope I would remember that! Haha. Anyway, so, I got a bit of a bump on the head yesterday -nothing serious, the doctor says, but he warned there might be some memory loss. So he says I should make this recording, and talk about myself, so I remember. So where to start? Umm, I've just moved to Cardiff, from London. I figured there was no reason to be in London any more, since Lisa and I broke up so long ago, and I thought it was time for a change. So I start looking around for jobs, and didn't take me long to get one -head barista, at a gorgeous little coffee shop in Llanishen. So that's alright. Oh, I start there on Tuesday morning, hope I don't forget that! Haha, great way to start off the new job hey? Anyway, so I've up and moved back to Cardiff, found a great little flat not far from the new job..."_

Ah, yes. It was all coming back now. Tristyn remembered each detail as he heard it. He relaxed as his recorded voice chattered on.

* * *

**_Review?_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thankyou so much to everyone who has reviewed and favourited this story! It is really motivating and I love you all!**

**Also, thanks to specialfrancine who identified the story whose premise I stole: It was Heart and Soul by evalentine. Read it, it's really good :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

* * *

"I'll see ya." said Jack with a grin. He turned and jogged away from the railing where Martha and the Doctor stared after him. He was looking forward to getting back to his team. Three months, the Doctor had said. How much might have changed in three months? He was sure they would have coped without him. They were his team after all.

There were kids playing around the water tower in the Plass, so he headed for the Tourist Office. It was currently closed, but that wasn't unusual, and he let himself in and headed down to the hub.

Tosh jumped as the proximity alarms went off at the cog door, and immediately reached for her gun. Gwen had just passed on her way to the kitchen and Owen was at his desk on her other side, so who was coming in? Owen was beside her in the same instant, his gun drawn as they saw-

"Jack?" Tosh exclaimed. Jack grinned up at them as they put away their guns.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Owen demanded.

"Good to see you again too, Owen." Jack bounced up the few stairs and hugged Toshiko, then clapped Owen on the shoulder. There was a crash like breaking china behind him as Gwen emerged.

"Jack? Oh my god!" Gwen stepped over the broken coffee cup and ran to Jack, who hugged her tightly. "Where have you been? What on earth happened? Why didn't you contact us?"

Jack hesitated, not certain how much he wanted to tell them -or how much he could bear to tell them. He didn't want to relive that whole year. But something more important was nagging at him. He looked around.

"Where's Ianto?"

Gwen stepped back, and glanced at Tosh. Owen carefully looked at the ground. The atmosphere was suddenly awkward. Jack was seized by a sudden fear. "Where. Is. He?" he demanded in a low voice.

"He's gone, Jack," said Toshiko quietly. "He left, a month ago. And we can't find him."

* * *

Toshiko, Owen and four Starbucks coffees entered the conference room, where Jack and Gwen already waited.

"OK," said Jack. "First off, I don't necessarily expect you to understand, but I never wanted to run off without a word, it's just how things happened. And I never had a chance to send a message back, or else I would have. As for what happened to me -it's a long story, and since you already know the ending, 'and then Jack came back', I want to talk about Ianto first. Agreed?" Tosh and Owen nodded. Gwen opened a file of notes.

"Well, I've got everything here that we could find. It happened a month ago. When Tosh got in one morning, she found a note on her desk," she began.

"That's right," said Tosh. "And I was the last one to see him the night before too. I'd offered to grab dinner with him, but he said he was going to finish tidying up and then have an early night."

"Here's the note." Gwen handed it to Jack.

Dear Tosh, Owen and Gwen,

I'm so very sorry, but I can't go on like this. I'm starting afresh. Take care of each other, don't forget to feed Myfanwy. And please don't try to track me down.

With regret, Ianto.

"And you didn't see this coming?" asked Jack.

"He was upset when you left," said Owen. "We all were really -it's not easy when your leader buggers off without a word." Jack grimaced. "But we all managed, and after a few weeks we had some idea of normality again. Ianto made coffee and kept things running smoothly as usual, and spent a lot of time in the archives like normal. He was quiet a lot -but that wasn't out of the ordinary for him. So no, we didn't see it coming."

"Right. So I assume you did try to track him down?"

"Of course -but this is Ianto we're talking about," Owen made a frustrated gesture. "He's nothing if not a perfectionist."

"We think he was planning it for weeks," said Gwen. "He moved out of his flat -ended the lease properly with the real estate and everything -but there haven't been any new leases in his name. And we think he had a new car too -he definitely isn't using his old one."

"It would have been too easy to trace," said Toshiko. "We followed him on CCTV and traffic cameras as far as we could, but of course Ianto knew where the gaps are in the coverage. I could follow his car until it headed down a quiet road, out of town. It never came back, so we headed out there, and found it, just parked by the side of the road. We put a tracker on it and left it there, but he never came back for it, so it's here now."

"And nothing in the car to give us a lead?"

"Clean as a whistle."

Jack sighed and held his head in his hands. This _wasn't_ how he'd imagined his return. "What about bank accounts?" Gwen flicked through some of the papers in the folder.

"He spent a lot of money in the month leading up to it. But he took it all out as cash so there's no leads on where he was spending it. And a few days before he left, he cleaned them out. Again, in cash. If he opened new bank accounts, he did them under a new name. In fact, from all the evidence and what he said in his note, we assume he's created a whole new identity. New name, new car, new flat, new person."

"But I reckon he's still in Cardiff," put in Owen. The others looked at him, surprised.

"That road we found his car on," said Tosh. "It headed straight out of town -he could have gone anywhere from there. What makes you think he came back into Cardiff?"

"Well, he obviously had to do a fair bit of work before he disappeared on us. For starters, he moved house. It wouldn't be easy to move very far without us noticing -he would have needed time off. Also, he would have needed a job. I assume he would have at least started applying for jobs before he left. But if he got an interview, and it was outside Cardiff, he would have had to take time off. If the interview was _in_ Cardiff, he could say he had errands to run and just disappear for a few hours."

Jack nodded. "Makes sense. OK, so he's probably in Cardiff, but other than that we know nothing?"

Gwen glanced at Tosh and Owen, before shaking her head sadly.

"No. We know nothing."

* * *

Jack sighed and rubbed his temples, wondering again why the Doctor couldn't have dropped him off at an earlier time. The paradox had taken place about a month after he left, and the Doctor had wanted to stay as far clear of that moment as possible -but surely the TARDIS could have gotten him home just a month earlier, in time to stop Ianto leaving?

It was no use thinking this way. What was done was done, and not even the Doctor could change that now. But it was a major blow to Jack. As much as he tried not to admit it, Ianto had gotten under his skin and he'd been looking forward to seeing him again, and making a bigger effort to show his care and appreciation for the boy. Now that chance appeared to be gone. He'd been back for a week, and he'd gone over everything the others had done to try and find Ianto, but it was pointless. Owen was right. The man was a perfectionist.

He flicked through the CCTV records again, replaying the moment when Ianto left the Tourist Office. He watched as Ianto looked straight at the camera and mouthed goodbye. Up until that point there had been nothing specific in his behaviour to suggest anything was wrong. They'd identified a period of about 30 minutes earlier which appeared to be a replay from earlier in the day, and Tosh had spent a long time trying to recover whatever Ianto had removed -but Ianto knew the system too well. She hadn't been able to get it back.

The cog door rolled noisily open. Jack turned off the screen and stood up from his desk. Toshiko and Gwen walked in and held up plastic bags.

"Chinese for lunch boys. See you in the conference room," called Gwen. Jack smiled and nodded back. He wandered over to the autopsy bay and looked down to where Owen was working.

"Coming?"

"Yeah, just cleaning up here." Jack waited as Owen finished, peeled his gloves off and threw them in the bin. "Let's eat."

Jack and Owen sat down and the girls passed the take away containers around. They had just started munching in contented silence when an alarm starting sounding.

"Rift activity!" Tosh was out of her seat and halfway out the door in a flash. Owen groaned.

"Why? Every bloody time! Never just as we're _finishing _a meal, is it?" They all followed briskly to Tosh's workstation.

"What have we got?" asked Jack.

"Something big. It's come through in Heath, but it's moving north-east."

"Tosh, stay here, see if you can figure out what it is and track it, let us know what you find," commanded Jack. "Gwen, Owen: let's go."

* * *

They piled into the SUV, Jack automatically taking the driver's seat, Gwen in the passenger. With Jack's usual pace of driving it was less than ten minutes til they were arriving in Heath. Jack hit his comms device.

"Tosh? Any idea what we're looking at?"

"It looks to be some sort of giant insect -like a praying mantis, but about 6 feet long. And it's flying, still heading north east -it's passing just west of Llanishen Reservoir now."

"Bloody hell it must be fast!" exclaimed Owen. Jack put his foot down and sped on towards the reservoir.

"Anything on how to deal with it?" asked Gwen.

"Nothing on the mainframe but I'm checking UNIT's database now," replied Tosh.

"Keep us updated," said Jack. "Owen, reach into the back -we need the net gun."

"The net gun -you want to capture this thing?" Owen was surprised.

"There's no reason to assume it's aggressive, if we can deal with it without killing it then all the better."

"Right. Sedative too then?" asked Owen. Tosh interrupted over the comms.

"I've found some information on UNIT's database, appears to be the same creature. They call it a mayfly. Not aggressive per se but will want to lay eggs in a host body, and that will eventually kill the host."

"Are they sentient?" asked Jack.

"UNIT were unable to communicate with them but they did show some signs of awareness and reaction to the activities of people around them."

"Ok, plan stays the same," said Jack. "We attempt capture and sedation. Keep your guns handy but they are back up only. Tosh, where is it now?"

"Head up Lisvane Road, you should be able to see it ahead on your right."

"There it is!" cried Gwen, leaning forward in her seat. The mayfly was flying about 20 feet above the ground, and still heading north-east.

"Right, let's get in front of it," said Jack. He pushed the SUV to it's limits to get to the bend in the road up ahead. Owen shoved a gun at Gwen.

"Gwen, take this. It's a dart gun, I've loaded the darts with sedative -we'll let Jack try with the net gun, but even if he misses, we can try to bring it down this way." Gwen nodded and took the gun, eyes still mostly fixed to the giant winged insect out the window. They screeched to a halt and jumped out of the car. Owen handed the net gun to Jack.

"Owen go left, Gwen go right." Jack watched as the mayfly flew towards them. It was very much like an insect -six thin legs, long skinny body, wings narrow like a dragonfly. He raised his gun, waited for just the right moment, and fired. The net flew outwards and hit the alien dead-on. Unfortunately that meant it didn't cover the wings, but it still served to interrupt the mayfly's flight. Gwen and Owen took the opportunity and each sent off a tranquilliser dart. The mayfly hovered, dropped a bit, and eventually came crashing down in the field beside the road.

The three ran over and Owen gave it a quick check.

"Both darts hit target, no other visible wounds -I'd say this is as good as a stop and capture mission gets, Captain."

"Ok, let's get it in the SUV and back to the hub. Good work guys."

* * *

The SUV pulled up alongside a cafe in Llanishen.

"Alright Owen, but make it quick," warned Jack. "Keeping sedated aliens in the vehicle for longer than necessary is not a smart idea."

"It's just a coffee Jack. Back in a minute!" Owen jumped out of the SUV. He hadn't had a decent coffee since Ianto left -Starbucks was definitely _not _Ianto quality. And now of course he was hungry too, since lunch had been so rudely interrupted. But then he'd spotted this little place.. it was always the little, out of the way places which had the best stuff, wasn't it? The ones only locals usually knew about. He went in, and up to the counter, thinking he'd order one for the others too. His treat.

"What can I get for you, sir?" asked a soft Welsh voice. Owen turned and stared at the barista in shock.

"Ianto?"

"Sorry?" The barista paused, and his smile faltered momentarily in confusion. "I was asking what you'd like? To drink?"

Owen shook his head. There was no recognition in the man's face at all. He was either a very good actor, or-

"Sorry. Sorry, mate. You just reminded me of an old friend is all. Guy named Ianto." He watched carefully for any reaction. The barista just smiled.

"Sorry, not me. I'm Tristyn."

"Nice to meet you Tristyn. I'm Owen."

"Pleasure to meet you too. So, can I get you anything?" Owen gave him the order for four takeaway coffees. The cafe wasn't busy so he decided he could have a chat while he waited.

"So Tristyn, you're a local?"

"That's right -although I did live in London for a long while. Moved back bit over a month ago. You? You sound like a Londoner?"

"Yeah, been in Cardiff for some years now though. Needed a change of scenery after my fiance died."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Owen waved it off.

"It was a long time ago. How 'bout you? Got a girlfriend?"

"No. Was engaged once, to a girl in London, but it didn't work out. Hasn't really been anyone since, and eventually did the same as you -wanted a change. So here I am."

"So here you are," mused Owen quietly. Tristyn handed him a cardboard tray with the four coffees.

"Enjoy."

"Cheers, mate." Owen headed back to the SUV, deep in thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone alerting this story -I've been overwhelmed by how many of you have! Thank you so much!**

**Detailed spoilers for 'Everything Changes' in here, but I think we can assume you've all seen that one, lol.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

**

* * *

**

Owen was quiet the whole way back to the hub. When they got back he handed out the coffees, then helped move the mayfly into a cell. Jack wanted to wait til it woke up, see if they could communicate somehow, so Owen headed back upstairs.

"Tosh, can I have a word?"

"Of course -what's wrong?"

"Not here. Can we go out on the pier? Bring your coffee."

"Sure." Tosh was concerned but didn't hesitate. "We're just going to get some fresh air," she said lightly as they passed Gwen. Gwen was on the phone so she just smiled and nodded back.

They stepped out into the brisk air. It was only mid-afternoon but the breeze coming in off the bay was cold. Tosh followed Owen over to the railing and they leaned on it, looking out over the water.

"So what's up?" asked Tosh.

"How's your coffee?" Owen responded. Tosh took a moment to have some, then her eyes widened.

"Wow, I haven't had coffee that good since Ianto left! Where'd you get it?"

"Little cafe in Llanishen. They've got a new barista there, by the name of Tristyn. Nice guy, says he's only recently moved back here from London, and he looks an _awful_ lot like a friend of ours who recently went away, and who made coffee just as good..." Tosh's jaw dropped in amazement.

"Are you kidding me? It's Ianto? And he's working as a barista?"

"Yeah." Owen didn't sound happy about it, and Tosh quickly sobered.

"What's wrong?"

"He didn't remember me. At all. He wasn't acting, Tosh, there was no recognition at all. I know the kid has fooled us before but this was different." There was a short pause.

"So he retconned himself," said Tosh quietly.

"Must have. Bloody hell, he must have wiped out years of his life." Owen was horrified at the thought. There was another minute of silence as they each tried to take it in. Eventually Tosh spoke.

"Jack and Gwen -they don't know."

"No. Only I ducked in to get the drinks. They waited with our insect friend."

"We have to tell Jack."

"Do we? Do we really? 'Cause if I remember rightly, Jack is the whole reason Ianto did this. And he specifically asked us not to try and track him down, which we attempted anyway. Why shouldn't we just drop it, and respect his wishes?" Owen was angry. He'd lost two close friends in two months, and now Jack had come back -and it was Jack's fault Ianto was gone.

"Ianto only left because he didn't think Jack was coming back. If he had known that Jack was coming back, especially in only a few more weeks, he'd never have gone." Tosh had no doubts. She wasn't sure how you would best go about this -how do you tell someone that they've retconned themselves into a false identity, and that they should give up the person they think they are in exchange for a life that probably seems straight out of science fiction? But there was no doubt in her mind that they should get Ianto back. As far as she could see, Ianto's reason for leaving Torchwood no longer existed, therefore there was no reason for him to stay away.

* * *

When Jack came up from the cells a while later, Tosh and Owen were still arguing quietly about the best course of action. They were back at their workstations, and didn't see him coming.

"No, I don't," said Owen in a low voice.

"Yeah, you do!"

"No, we should leave it be."

"I can't believe you're even considering that Owen! There's no choice!"

"That's right, there isn't a choice, because he already made his choice. So that's the end of it."

Confused, Jack looked across the hub at Gwen, and raised a questioning eyebrow. She shrugged. She had no idea what they were going on about. She couldn't hear them properly from her desk anyway. Jack stepped up behind Tosh & Owen.

"That's not the end of it, because things have changed," argued Tosh. "The situation's different now. His _choice _would be different now."

"Whose choice?" asked Jack. Tosh and Owen both jumped, startled, then looked guiltily away. Jack could suddenly guess who they were talking about. "Whose. Choice." he growled again. Tosh turned and folded her arms.

"If you don't, I will." Owen stared at her for a minute, then gave in, defeated.

"And now it's my choice that's been taken away. Alright. Captain, you'd better take a seat," he said.

* * *

Five minutes later they were all in Jack's office. They figured they might as well include Gwen and save having to repeat it all again later.

"OK, now spit it out," demanded Jack. "What's going on?" Owen took a deep breath.

"I found Ianto."

"What?" Jack jumped up immediately, ready to head out the door. "Where is he? Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner!"

"Calm down Captain, sit back down. It's not that simple." Jack looked like he was about to kill Owen but Tosh spoke up.

"He's right Jack. It's not that simple. Hear him out." Jack hesitated, then sat back down.

"Alright, tell me."

"I think Ianto's retconned himself, big time. He's got a new name, and from what I could tell, he honestly believes he is this new person. I spoke to him for a full five minutes and not once was there any hint that he knew who I was."

"And it was definitely him?"

"I was less than three feet away Jack, for a full five minute conversation. It was him." Jack let out a long, slow breath.

"He retconned himself. That's a big dose, to wipe out so much."

"Ianto always was the most precise with it," said Gwen.

"OK," said Jack. "Where did you see him?"

"At the cafe where we got the coffees in Llanishen. He's the barista."

Jack gave a bitter laugh.

"Of course, Ianto Jones, Teaboy, needs a quiet and unimportant job. So he becomes a barista in an out of the way suburb. Well, we've got to go get him back."

"No!" yelled Owen, suddenly angry again.

"What?" Jack was surprised. "Why the hell not?"

"Lots of reasons, Jack! The first and most important is that you are the reason he did this in the first place. You abandoned us, and he felt it more keenly than the rest of us did, and couldn't cope. So it's your fault this whole thing even happened! Secondly, he asked us not to, and I should hope we can give him that respect at least. Thirdly, you can't just walk in there, tell him he's got his own name wrong and demand that he returns to a life he doesn't remember. He'll freak out, and at best he'll be scared of you, and at worst..." he trailed off.

"At worst, what, Owen?" asked Jack quietly.

"At worst, the rush of years of memories returning could cause mental damage. I don't know exactly what, it's uncharted territory. I don't think we've ever given such a large dose in the time I've been here, let alone had someone recover from it. He could end up a very confused, or broken, or unstable man."

There was a long pause as they all considered this. Jack sat with his elbows on the desk, hands pressed together, and bowed his head against them as though praying, though they knew he wasn't. They waited. Eventually he looked up.

"Ok. For now, we leave him be."

"What?" said Gwen, horrified. "Jack, you can't seriously.."

"For now!" Jack repeated firmly. "Now, you all have work to do. Tosh, I want you to compile everything UNIT has on the mayfly." They understood a dismissal when they heard one and started to file out of the office. "Gwen -stay here a minute."

Gwen hesitated, then moved back. Jack gestured to the chair opposite his desk and she sat down.

"Look, I'm sorry for questioning.." she began.

"Never mind that," said Jack. "You're the only person I know who has taken retcon and later had the memories return. We've always known that the memories can be triggered if there are enough reminders, but I want to know exactly what it was like when it happened."

"Well, uh, I don't know where to start," she replied uncertainly.

"OK, when did you get the full memories back? That was when Suzie shot herself wasn't it?"

"Yes, that's when everything came back. Until then it had just been flashes, images.."

"Of what?"

"Of the knife. I saw a sketch of the knife in the case room at the police station. After that I couldn't get the image out of my head, and I kept getting these brief pictures, of seeing the real knife -but I couldn't remember where, or any other details about it. I kept wondering if it was a memory or just something my imagination had made up."

"When did you remember the Plass?"

"I didn't -I had a brochure from the Millenium Centre on my desk at home, and I had written 'Remember' on it. Couldn't for the life of me figure out why I had been there or what I was supposed to be remembering. So I went there, to see if it jogged my memory."

"Did it?"

"Not really. It seemed familiar, but then, of course I had been there before."

"And that's when you saw Suzie?"

"Yeah, and she remembered me but I didn't remember her and it was so confusing. She was going on about everything as if I should understand, but I didn't, and I was trying to focus on the fact that she had a gun pointed at me but I was so confused." Gwen shivered at the unpleasant memory.

"And then when the memories came back?"

"It was like.. everything just clicked into place. You know, like when you've misplaced your keys and you're searching everywhere for them and can't find them anywhere, and then suddenly you remember clear as day where you put them and why, and you wonder why you didn't remember it earlier."

"So it didn't feel disorienting?"

"Not at all. But we're only talking about a short-term situation with me. It'll be different with Ianto."

Jack leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"Yeah. Ianto has erased years of his life, and his mind will have invented false memories to fill in the gaps. And those false memories will contradict the real ones and make it that much harder for him to accept the truth."

"So we are going to get him back then?" Gwen was hopeful. She had always felt motherly towards the youngest team member.

"I don't know," said Jack. "But I hope so. What are you working on right now?"

"I was compiling the statistics on weevil attacks in the last few months."

"That can wait. New job -I want you to dig up the old research from when retcon was developed, and find out whatever we can about people getting their memories back. Start in the early 90's. You may need to go into the archives to find it -if you do, find me first and we'll go down together. Too easy to get lost down there." Gwen smiled.

"Sure."

"Oh -and don't tell the others yet." Gwen nodded and went to leave, but paused in the doorway to look back at Jack.

"Don't worry Jack; we'll get him back."

Jack smiled weakly, then once she had left, buried his face in his hands.

* * *

The next morning Jack was alone in the SUV. He'd made sure everyone was busy with other things, and Tosh's rift predictor program had forecast a quiet day. The program was still in development and definitely wasn't at the point of true reliability, but he hoped it was accurate today, all the same.

He liked driving. It gave him time to think. Teleportation and the super-fast transport of the future left something to be desired in that respect. Right now though, his thoughts were on a certain young Welshman. He was trying to figure out just when he had started to care so much about Ianto. He'd given up close relationships years ago -he'd had plenty of opportunities to see how those panned out, and it was always the same. They would get old and die -or in some cases, die young -and he would be left with the pain and loss and heartbreak, and somehow be expected to carry on. So it was easier not to form those relationships.

And he'd done that -he'd avoided it for a long time. Of course, it was easier back when he was just a field agent for Torchwood -he didn't hang around at work long enough to become close with anyone, and filled his other hours with one night stands and one-person pastimes. It was harder now; he had a team, and they were his team, and he cared about them all. But Ianto was even more than that. Somehow the quiet archivist always knew what Jack needed, and was always there at the right moment. And Jack had let him in. He knew a steady casual relationship wasn't a good idea, but he'd allowed it to happen anyway. It had been a long time since he'd slept with someone more than once, and he was belatedly remembering why.

Jack shook himself from his thoughts as he arrived in Llanishen. He knew Owen would be incensed if he found out, but Jack had to see for himself. He parked outside the little cafe, and went in.

The cafe wasn't busy mid-morning on a weekday. There were a few patrons sitting at the tables: a trio of young mothers with their prams, a businessman with his laptop open, a couple talking quietly in the corner. He approached the counter, and immediately spotted the man he was looking for. He looked gorgeous as ever in a plain black collared shirt and dress pants, with a black apron. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, but it was clear Ianto hadn't lost his sense of pride in his perfect appearance. He looked over at Jack with a smile.

"Morning sir, what can I get for you?"

Jack had to make an effort to appear relaxed and casual.

"Long black, thanks." The barista moved briskly away to start on the order, then returned and took Jack's money. "So, you're new here, huh?" Jack asked.

"How do you know that?"

"I'm a regular -been away on business for six weeks, but I'm normally around a few times a week."

"Oh, right. Well yes, I must have started the week after you went away then." Jack smiled.

"Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"

"Tristyn Lewis. Pleased to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Jack said, and he meant it. Not only was he happy to see him, but it was clear that 'Tristyn' was happy too -he looked more relaxed and settled than he'd ever seen him. There was a feeling of good health about the boy. Jack wondered if Ianto had ever been this content in Torchwood. Tristyn handed Jack his drink.

"Anything else I can get for you, sir?"

"No, that's all for now. Thanks Tristyn." He took his drink and sat down at a nearby table, pulling out the folder of notes Tosh had put together on the mayfly. He hadn't had a chance to see if they could communicate with it yet as it hadn't woken up -Owen suspected the sedatives had been too strong given it's small, lightweight body. Jack tried to concentrate on the notes in front of him but his eyes kept flicking over to where Tristyn was working. A waitress came out of the back room, having finished her break, and chatted cheerfully with Tristyn as they worked. Eventually Jack finished his drink and decided to head back to the hub. He looked back at Tristyn with a smile and a nod as he walked out.

* * *

Tristyn turned to his co-worker as she returned from clearing tables.

"Jessie, who was that guy?"

"Which guy?"

"Jack Harkness. The tall one in the RAF coat that just walked out. He said he was a regular."

"No idea -I've never seen him before. Handsome though," she grinned. "Why?"

"I don't know," said Tristyn thoughtfully. "He seems familiar somehow, but I'd swear I've never seen him before in my life."


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a bit of a filler chapter.. stuff happens but there's less Janto than I'd like. But it leads to more in the next chapter of course :) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.  
**

* * *

The mayfly was awake. From the information Tosh had found, UNIT hadn't been able to communicate with the ones they'd come across, but UNIT didn't have an alien-tech translation device at their disposal. The team gathered down in the cells, Gwen and Owen standing back to watch. Tosh attached the translation device to the cell wall.

"Alright Jack, ready when you are."

Jack stepped up to the glass.

"My name is Captain Jack Harkness. I've not encountered your species before, and would like to communicate if we can. Can you understand me?"

The mayfly was standing unsteadily in the centre of the cell, wings flicking erratically every few moments. It lifted it's head to look at Jack as he spoke. It made a kind of buzzing noise, not translated by the device.

"Oh," said Jack, and fell to his knees.

"Jack!" cried Gwen and Tosh simultaneously, as they and Owen all rushed to his side.

"No, no, no, sorry, it's fine," said Jack quickly, waving them back. "It just took me by surprise is all." He stayed on his knees and looked at the mayfly, tilting his head slightly.

"What's going on Jack?" demanded Gwen. "What took you by surprise?"

"Shhhh." Jack remained intent on the alien. There was silence except for the buzzing noise for a full minute, then-

"Ahhhh, oww, sorry I have to stop." Jack tore his gaze away from the mayfly and held his head in his hands. "I'm getting a nasty headache." The buzzing stopped.

"Telepathy?" asked Owen. Realisation dawned on Tosh's face. Jack started to get up but was having trouble with his balance so Owen went to help.

"Yeah," said Jack. "But our systems aren't compatible." Gwen just looked stunned.

"Telepathy? That was talking to you with it's mind?" she asked.

"Your systems aren't compatible?" asked Owen, ignoring Gwen. "You mean your brains work differently?"

"Yes, but also, it's mind is more primitive than ours -it uses very basic images rather than a language. Luckily, telepathy is backwards-compatible," Jack joked. "But it was like we were working on different wavelengths, the images were fuzzy, like a TV that's not tuned properly. It was hard to understand much."

Tosh retrieved the useless translation device and they headed out of the cells, up to the autopsy bay where Owen could get some painkillers for Jack.

"Wait, so you're telepathic?" asked Gwen.

"No more so than anyone else," Jack replied, sitting on the stairs. "All humans have some level of ability, but we don't naturally use it. For a long time though, psychic skills were a standard part of Torchwood employee training. So I've had a fair bit of practice over the years. Actually, Ianto would have had some training in it too. Torchwood One was very keen on that sort of thing."

"That's explains why UNIT didn't figure that out," said Tosh. "They have a department of people who specialise in psychic abilities, rather than training everyone. I suppose it wouldn't have occurred to them that the mayfly might be telepathic."

"It didn't occur to us either," agreed Owen.

"So what did it say?" asked Gwen. Jack shook his head.

"I didn't get much. Images of fields as it flew over them -not the fields it flew over here though. I think it was heading for something but I'm not sure what or why. I'll try again later and maybe have some better luck since I know what to expect now."

* * *

Gwen knocked on the open door to Jack's office and he waved her in.

"I've found all the information on retcon that's on the mainframe," she said. "There's references to more in the archives but there's quite a lot here as it is." She held up a folder of notes. Jack motioned for her to take the seat opposite his desk, and leaned back in his own chair.

"OK, so what have got on memory recovery?"

"There was a lot of it early on, when retcon was still being developed -people would spontaneously remember whatever had been wiped. Obviously they kept fine tuning the recipe until it was more reliable. But they could never stop memories from being triggered."

"So seeing a person that you don't remember due to retcon, could trigger the memories?"

"Actually, they discovered people and faces don't work well as triggers. Something to do with the fact that we see so many different people every day, or that unrelated people can look similar."

"So, objects as triggers, then."

"Yes, and meaningful objects, things that were important in relation to the forgotten events, worked better than incidental ones. Which is probably why the knife didn't work very well for me," she mused. "The knife wasn't really related to my experiences with Torchwood, so it wasn't until Suzie was talking about the glove and Torchwood and everything that the memories returned properly."

"Right," said Jack. "Was there anything specific about long-term retcons?"

"Not a lot -obviously they didn't have a lot of volunteers for that. Though I think there may be more in the archives. But it seemed to work the same way: a meaningful trigger would bring back flashes of memory and eventually the whole lot would return. But it took a lot longer, weeks usually."

"Weeks," murmured Jack. "OK, look up where those archive records are. We'll go down later and dig them out."

* * *

Two days later, Jack went back to the cafe. He'd told Tristyn he was a regular, he figured that meant he could visit at least 3 times a week without overdoing it. He took a deep breath as he stepped into the cafe, appreciating the delicious smell that had been missing from the hub since he got back. He walked up to the counter. Tristyn had seen him and smiled.

"Long black, I believe it was?"

Jack grinned.

"That's the one." He watched as Tristyn moved with an assured efficiency. Ianto had always been like that. Quietly confident, taking satisfaction in a job done to perfection, no matter how big or small the task. Suddenly a voice cut into his thoughts.

"Jack, where are you? We've got a problem," said Owen's voice in his ear. Jack turned away from the counter and raised a hand to his ear to activate his own comms unit.

"What's the matter?"

"I think our insect friend is unwell."

"Why do you think that? "

"It's listless, unable to get up properly, keeps making that buzzing noise like it's trying to communicate, but none of us are trained in telepathy. If we spend more than a few minutes in the room we get a headache."

"Alright, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen? Where are you?"

"Nevermind, I'm on my way." Jack deactivated his comms and turned back to the counter, his good mood ruined. "Sorry, I'm going to have to.." he began, then stopped as Tristyn smiled and held out a takeaway cup.

"Your coffee? At least you can take it with you."

Jack's smiled returned. Tristyn had anticipated what he'd need. Some things never changed.

* * *

Jack strode through the cog door and went to his office to hang up his coat. Then he headed straight for the cells. Owen fell in beside him.

"Any change?"

"No, same as I told you. Gwen and I both got headaches so we've just been watching it on CCTV from up here."

"Not Tosh?"

"She was smart enough to stay out of the cells."

"How's your head now?"

"Still hurts, not as bad." They reached the entrance to the cells.

"You watch from here, I'll call if I need you."

"Right." Owen sat at the top of the stairs and ducked his head so he could see Jack. Jack, remembering what had happened last time, knelt down in front of the cell before raising his head to look at the mayfly. It was swaying slightly, as though drunk, wings laying awkwardly across it's back. The buzzing noise started almost immediately. Jack winced but didn't move.

Tosh came down from the kitchen and sat at her workstation, glancing up the CCTV.

"Gwen," she called. "Jack's with the mayfly again." Gwen came around behind her and they watched on the screen as Jack knelt down in front of the cell, and looked at the mayfly. They couldn't hear anything, but saw Jack wince a moment later. Then all was still. For several long, slow, minutes nothing happened, as though the CCTV had been paused. Then the mayfly moved, it's back legs giving way underneath it. It's wings moved weakly as though trying to correct it's balance, but the four front legs couldn't hold it up and it sank to the ground. And as it's large bug eyes finally left Jack, he slumped to the ground too.

"Jack!" cried Gwen.

"Come on!" shouted Tosh, running towards the cells.

Owen was bending over Jack when they arrived.

"Is he dead?" Gwen asked breathlessly.

"No, just unconscious," he replied. "Gonna have one hell of a headache when he wakes up though I'd say." He looked into the cell. "And I don't think our friend was quite as lucky." The mayfly was completely still.

"Come on," said Owen, "Help me get him back upstairs."

Between them they carried Jack upstairs and laid him out on the couch behind Tosh & Owen's workstations.

"What now?" asked Tosh.

"Nothing we can do until he wakes up. So I might as well get our insect friend up to autopsy. One of you give me a hand to bring it up?"

"Sure, I can help," Tosh replied.

"I'll stay here with Jack," said Gwen.

* * *

Jack groaned as he came slowly back to consciousness. He head was killing him. He'd have to get some more drugs from Owen. He slowly became aware that Gwen was fussing over him, and he tried to assure her he was fine, but he couldn't move his head without searing pain. This wasn't a headache, it was a migraine. He briefly tried to open his eyes but the blinding light was painful too.

"Just stay still Jack, I'll get Owen," he heard Gwen say, worry evident in her voice. Why did she worry so much? They remembered that he couldn't die, right? Ugh, so much pain. Maybe he should just shoot himself. A bullet to the temple was quick and therefore relatively painless, and the pain of resurrection would be over just as quickly.

He was just moving his hand towards his belt when he remembered that he didn't carry his gun in the hub unless he needed it. It was in his office. He groaned again. Voices reached his side.

"Alright mate," said Owen cheerily. "This'll fix you up." He felt a needle jab in his arm. A few moments later, the pain began to recede, and he could think clearly. He sighed with relief, then managed to open his eyes and sit up.

"Much better, thanks."

"No driving or operating heavy machinery for the next few hours," said Owen, only half-joking. "You need to go somewhere, get one of us to drive."

"So what happened?" asked Jack.

"You tell us," said Tosh from her workstation. "You and the mayfly were staring at each other for several minutes, then you collapsed and it died."

"It's dead?" Jack was surprised.

"It's on my autopsy table as we speak," said Owen. "Any idea what killed it? Save me some time if I know what to look for."

"No idea," said Jack, shaking his head. "It managed to convey that something was wrong but I couldn't tell you what."

"Did it tell you anything else?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, I got that it came through the rift by accident, and was running scared when we caught up to it. It didn't pick north-east for any good reason; Mayflys just go faster in a straight line."

"So it picked a random direction and went for it."

"Pretty much."

"And now it's dead," said Owen. "Is that due to something that happened here, in the rift, or before it left home?"

"I'm sure I can rely on you to find out," said Jack.

"Great," Owen muttered, heading back to autopsy.

* * *

The next day Jack was caught up with official phone calls and stuck in his office all day. At 1am that night, a weevil alert sounded. Jack called Owen and headed out. There were three weevils, nothing they couldn't handle, but they were troublesome. The last one especially kept giving them the slip, and it was 3am when they caught it. By the time they got back to the hub, put all three away in cells, and cleaned themselves up, it was nearly dawn. Jack told Owen to go home and sleep.

He went to his office and dropped down to the camp bed in the bunker underneath, intending to rest a bit. He wasn't sleepy, but they'd had a decent workout and it never hurt to give the body a break. As he lay there, his thoughts drifted to Ianto again. Jack wished he could be curling up beside him in a proper bed instead of being here. Those were the only times he got any decent sleep, he realised. Not that he needed it, but it was nice to have all the same. There was something about the younger man that made Jack relax completely. He wondered where Ianto was living now, whether he was asleep still or getting up and ready for work already. He sighed, frustrated.

Dissatisfied with laying about now that he'd compared it to something better, Jack got back up. He went to his desk and hacked into the city's records, and searched for Tristyn Lewis. There it was -an address in Llanishen -well, that made sense. He briefly considered going out there, but decided he'd better not. Stalking Tristyn was not going to help any of them, and if he saw Jack it would only make him suspicious or wary of the older man. If Jack wanted to become good friends with him, he'd have to be patient.

Instead, he wandered over to Gwen's desk and found the notes she'd made on where the retcon files were. There was still an hour or two before the girls were due in for the day, so he headed down to the archives.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thankyou so much to everyone who has alerted, favourited and reviewed, it makes my day every time :) This one's a bit shorter but I think you'll like it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

**

* * *

**

Tosh was first to arrive, as was often the case since Ianto had left. Not finding anyone around, she sat down at her workstation and ran a scan for life signs. Ah, Jack was in the archives, no one else was in yet. Satisfied, she turned to her own work. Gwen came in ten minutes later, Starbucks coffee in hand.

"Hey Tosh, where's Jack?" she asked, seeing his office was empty.

"Down in the archives last time I checked."

"Actually, I'm here now," said Jack, emerging from the lower levels with a stack of papers and folders in his arms. Gwen looked a little put out.

"I thought you said we would go down there together?"

"I needed something to occupy myself this morning. By the way, Owen may not be in until this afternoon, if at all. We were out chasing weevils til nearly dawn." He headed to his office and Gwen followed. He put the stack down and handed her the first folder.

"Here, start going through these. I tried to grab only the ones about long-term retcons, but there might be some others mixed in. Look for anything which mentions what happened when people got their memories back." He took a folder for himself and sat back in his chair. After a moment, he glanced out at Tosh, then back at Gwen.

"On second thought, take half of these back to your desk. I don't want Tosh wondering what you're working on in here for so long. Type up whatever you find and send it to me when you're done."

"Sure." Gwen was a little disappointed at being kicked out but wouldn't say so. She obediently took half the stack and went back to her workstation across the room.

The rift was quiet so all three managed to get several hours of work done, uninterrupted but for a few minutes when Gwen and Tosh went to get a round of coffees. Jack was fascinated by the accounts he was reading from people who'd been retcon trial subjects. In most cases only a few hours of their memories had been wiped. Then they would be questioned about what they remembered, and any side effects they'd experienced. Then they would intentionally be exposed to familiar people and items and places, until their memories returned.

Most of the initial research and development on retcon had been done at Torchwood One, and only quality assurance tests -to back up London's findings -had been done in Cardiff. Jack hadn't been interested in being a test subject himself, so as a field operative he hadn't been involved in the development program at all. He didn't really come into contact with retcon until it was a reliable product -and then he'd found it very useful indeed. But there had never been a situation before where he _wanted_ to get someone's memories back, so this was a whole new experience for him.

Most of the subjects seemed to describe it the same way. Various names, faces, and locations would seem inexplicably familiar. They would be comfortable with them, but not really understand why. They didn't often act as a trigger though. Objects, on the other hand, proved to be a reliable trigger time and time again. An object that held special meaning -like an award they'd received, or a treasured gift, worked the best, but only if it related to the missing period of time.

One time, a retired General had volunteered, and had a whole year of his life wiped out. When attempting to restore his memory, they'd shown him the medals he'd received for his services to the country. It hadn't worked. He'd remembered them well enough, but he'd received them several years previous. When his wife showed him his set of golf clubs however, it had worked immediately -because she'd given them to him for his birthday just five months earlier.

Jack sighed, and wondered if Ianto had known this. He'd cleared out everything of his from the hub over the weeks before he left. And if he'd gone to those lengths, he probably wouldn't have left Torchwood-related items out on the counter in his new flat either. Finding an object that could work as a trigger could be much harder than it sounded.

Jack's stomach rumbled unexpectedly, and he almost laughed in surprise. He checked the time and walked over to the door of his office.

"Pizza for lunch today, ladies?" Gwen smiled up from the paper pile and Tosh turned from her bank of monitors.

"Sure."

"Sounds good to me." Jack ordered the pizzas, and since it was just the three of them they sat around at the couch behind Tosh and Owen's workstations.

After lunch, Jack said he had some errands to do, and left the girls to it. He drove up to Llanishen still wondering what they could use. It was disappointing -and a blow to his ego -to think that he himself wouldn't be a good enough trigger. If the research held true, even bringing Tristyn to the hub wouldn't be enough, although he might feel surprisingly at home there. He continued to wonder as he drove.

* * *

A few minutes after Jack left, the cog door rolled open and Tosh looked up, thinking Jack must have forgotten something. To her surprise, Owen walked in.

"Hey Tosh, all quiet today I hope?"

"We weren't expecting you in today Owen, Jack said you were up all night chasing weevils around town."

"Yeah, got a few hours sleep but I wanted to get the autopsy on that mayfly finished -I was nearly done with it and I think I know what killed it."

"Really? What was it?"

"No, I'm not telling until it's confirmed. Wouldn't want to say and have it turn out that I'm wrong, would we?"

Tosh giggled at the memory of the skeleton that Owen had once analysed, and then later found all his initial conclusions had been incorrect.

"No chance of it being a gunshot wound then?"

"Run away, back to your little programs, thanks Tosh."

* * *

Jack parked outside the cafe and went in, surprised to find it was quieter in the afternoons than it had been in the mornings. Tristyn spotted him immediately.

"Hello -I thought you were a morning regular," he smiled.

"I'm a 'whenever I can get away from work' regular," Jack replied, flashing his most charming grin. Tristyn laughed.

"Long black again, was it?" Jack nodded. "Go take a seat; it's quiet right now so I'll bring it over when it's ready."

Jack turned and found himself a table. He pulled out some more of the retcon archive notes.

"What's that?" asked Tristyn, appearing at Jack's shoulder a minute later. He saw a pile of papers with a logo in the corner, like a 'T' made of hexagons, with 'TORCHWOOD' written underneath. Jack closed the folder.

"Just some work," he replied as Tristyn put down his coffee. "Mmm, that smells good." Tristyn stepped back but instead of heading back to the counter, he hovered uncertainly for a moment. "What's wrong?" Jack asked.

"Nothing.. I was just wondering.. well, I'm due for a break and wondered if you'd mind some company for a while?.."

Jack grinned, delighted.

"Of course, please, join me."

"I'll just fix myself a drink," said Tristyn with a relieved smile. A few minutes later he was back and sitting down next to Jack.

"So, what's Torchwood?" he asked.

"My work."

"And what do you do?"

"I'm the boss."

"Ah, right." Tristyn sipped his drink. "You get stuck with all the paperwork then." Jack chuckled.

"Just about, although my team is pretty small so we try to share the load." There was a pause, then Jack steered the conversation to safer topics, picking the highlights of the local issues from the paper he'd read the day before. They chatted easily, like old friends, and Jack was surprised to realise just how happy that made him.

* * *

Owen got his final results and cheered.

"Oh yes, I'm good. I'm so good!"

Gwen and Tosh wandered over to look down into the autopsy bay.

"You were right then?" asked Tosh.

"Of course I was. I always am."

"Right, of course you are," said Gwen as both girls rolled their eyes.

"So what was it?" asked Tosh.

"It was -wait. Where's Jack? I might as well tell you all at once, save repeating myself. My breath is too precious to be wasted." Owen ran up the stairs and past the girls, stopping at the door to Jack's empty office.

"He had some errands to run apparently. No idea when he'll be back," said Gwen.

"What is with him always ducking off to run errands this week? Is he running a messenger service on the side or-" Owen's eyes narrowed as he noticed a takeaway coffee container on Jack's desk. It wasn't from Starbucks.

"Tosh, do me a favour, check where the SUV is."

"What, you want to stalk Jack now? Why don't you just ask him where he is?"

"Seriously, just do it."

Tosh tapped her keyboard and brought up the SUV's tracker.

"It's in -oh. He's in Llanishen." Owen swore and grabbed his comms unit.

* * *

Both men laughed at the joke Jack had just made. There was a slight pause.

"You know, it's strange," said Tristyn.

"What is?"

"I haven't known you for even a week, but I already feel like I've known you for years. Oh god, that probably sounds weird, doesn't it? Sorry."

"Nothing to apologise for," said Jack. "I have to admit, it feels similar to me." _Though not quite the same_, he thought. A voice came over his comms.

"Jack! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Owen yelled.

Jack jumped at the sudden volume in his ear. He turned to Tristyn.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse me for a minute." He reached up and activated his comms to reply.

"I'm having a coffee, Owen, why?" he said calmly.

"In Llanishen? You just happen to be having a coffee in _Llanishen_? Don't realise the harm you could be doing? I swear to you, if Ianto ends up hurt because you were too busy being selfish..."

"Owen, that's enough," said Jack firmly. "There hasn't been, and there will not be, any harm done. Look, I'll come back to the hu -the office, and we'll discuss this properly. Agreed?"

"Fine. You better be ready to explain yourself Captain." Jack clicked off his comms and sighed.

"Trouble at work?" asked Tristyn.

"Always," said Jack, putting on a fake grin. "Would be boring without it." He collected his papers as Tristyn cleared their table and headed back to the counter. Jack waved as he headed out the door.

"See you again soon."

"Bye," Tristyn replied. He watched as Jack got into a black SUV and drove off.

"Torchwood," he murmured to himself. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he should know what that meant. He shook his head and went back to work.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

* * *

Jack took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be pretty. He strode forward and the cog door rolled noisily out of the way for him. Owen, Tosh and Gwen were standing near the couch. Owen headed towards Jack immediately.

"Alright Jack, this better be good. If you've done anything that could hurt that boy I swear I'll.."

"You'll what, Owen?" asked Jack mildly.

"I'll find the slowest, most painful way to kill you and I'll do it over and over," Owen growled.

"Careful Owen; if I didn't know better I'd almost think you cared." They stared at each other for a few moments before Jack broke it off.

"Right, let's take this to the conference room. Gwen, bring those notes you were writing up."

"Notes on what?" asked Tosh as they walked.

"Notes on retcon, and what happens when you recover your memories after being retconned." They reached the conference room, Jack moving to one side of the table whilst Tosh and Owen sat opposite. Gwen came in a moment later with her folder and took the chair beside Jack.

"So you've been researching this behind our backs?" asked Owen.

"Unlike you Owen, Gwen didn't have anything more urgent to, so I asked her to dig up any info she could find on the mainframe and in the archives. Yes, I asked her not to mention it to you yet, because I wanted to have all the information to hand before we sat down to discuss it. That's all it was."

Owen looked unimpressed. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

"So.. what did you find?" asked Tosh. Jack looked at Gwen.

"Well," she said, "There's a few interesting things. For starters, they were never able to develop a retcon which was capable of blocking memories completely. The memories are always still there, and it's always possible for them to be triggered. Secondly, the memories can be triggered by anything which reminds the subject of something which happened in the missing time, although people and places are much less effective than objects."

"We knew this already," interrupted Owen impatiently. "What about long-term memory losses?"

"It seems to be basically the same. Important or meaningful objects are the best triggers, and memories can be recovered fully. It can take longer though – although the more meaningful the object, the quicker it's effect. There was one guy who lost 30 years of his life -it was an accidental overdose -and it took three weeks of getting him to look through his own possessions before an expensive watch his mother had given him triggered the full memories to return."

"The full memories?" asked Tosh. "Does that mean there can be partial memory return before that?"

"Sort of," said Jack. "I believe it comes in the form of 'flashes' -brief moments of seeing an image from your memory, and also sometimes in dreams." Gwen nodded.

"OK," said Owen. "So we know how to get his memories back. But that doesn't answer the question of whether we should, nor does it tell us whether the false memories Ianto has created will clash with his new ones and cause him additional harm."

"I think I can answer the second one," Gwen said. Jack leaned forward -he hadn't come across anything mentioning this in the papers he'd gone through.

"I found a case where they actually did that intentionally. They retconned six months of this subject's life away, and lied to him about what he'd been up to in that time. Then they waited a week before starting to try and trigger his memories."

"What happened?" asked Tosh. Gwen had a captive audience now.

"Well, obviously he believed the lies at first, and even started to 'remember' them -his mind filled in the blanks according to what he'd been told. Then, when his memories were triggered, the false memories just faded, like a dream. The subject's own words were," she read from the sheet in front of her, "'what I believed I had done now seems like a vague dream and not at all real.' It didn't cause him any problems at all." There was a collective sigh of relief from around the table.

"Right, so one last question then," said Jack. "Do we have the right?"

There was silence. No one wanted to be first to speak. Jack looked across the table.

"Owen?"

Owen shifted uneasily.

"I don't think we do. I want Ianto back, sure -I miss the coffee, and he was just so bloody dependable, it's not the same without him skulking around in the shadows. And that dinosaur in the rafters seems to have permanent PMS without him around to placate her. But he chose to leave, and he specifically asked us not track him down."

"But the situation's changed!" cried Tosh. "He left because Torchwood wasn't the same without Jack. He left because he believed Jack didn't care about us and wasn't coming back." Jack felt another stab of guilt pierce him. "But he was wrong, and I know that if he'd known how soon Jack would return, he'd never have left in the first place."

"I agree with Tosh," said Gwen. "Jack, we were all struggling when you disappeared, but it hit Ianto hardest of all. Not that he talked to us about it of course -but he became even quieter, wouldn't go to the pub with us any more, spent all his time in the archives. Eventually we pulled ourselves together and got on with things -but Ianto never seemed to get his balance back. So this is on your head. However, Tosh is right. If Ianto knew you were here now, his choice would be different. I think he would want to come back."

Jack took a deep breath.

"I'm more sorry than you can imagine at the hurt that my leaving has caused. If I could have chosen how it happened, it would have been very different, but I wasn't given the option. I hope you girls are right, and his decision would be different now, because I really don't want to lose him. He means a lot to me. And no, Owen," he cut in, seeing the doctor open his mouth, "I don't just mean 'cause we were shagging." There was a pause, then he added thoughtfully: "Also, I think there is a kind of inevitability about it."

"Inevitability? Like fate, or destiny?" asked Gwen. Owen snorted.

"Maybe something like that," said Jack, ignoring Owen. "Think about it -Ianto went to some effort to move into a quiet neighbourhood, and get a quiet job that didn't involve coming anywhere near the bay, and to do so in a suburb which Torchwood rarely visits. How often have we been out that way in the last few years? Maybe twice? Yet, within five weeks of Ianto leaving, we're there. And we just happen to stop off on the way back -something we wouldn't normally do, especially with a sedated alien in the back, and it just happens to be the same little cafe where he's working now? That's a hell of a lot of coincidence."

A brief moment passed.

"I don't really believe in fate," said Tosh. "But if I did, this would be more than convincing. And I want Ianto back, and I believe he would want to come back if he knew everything. I say we should do it."

"Me too," said Gwen.

"What, so we're taking a bloody vote on Ianto's life now?" sputtered Owen.

"No, we're not actually," said Jack. "But I would be happier doing this if I had your support."

Owen rubbed his face with both hands in a tired and frustrated gesture.

"Fine," he muttered.

"Look," offered Jack. "The worst thing that can happen is that he gets his memories back, and tells us that we got it wrong. If that happens, we give him another dose of retcon, send him back to his cafe, and leave him in peace."

"Really? You'd let him go?" Owen was surprised.

"If that was what he really wanted.. yes. I have no desire to force anyone to be here."

Owen nodded grudgingly.

"Alright then, I can agree to that."

Jack beamed.

"OK, so, how do we go about it?" asked Gwen.

"Well, there are a few complications. The fact that he's been living under a new identity for over a month could reduce the effectiveness of some triggers, so we'd have to find something particularly meaningful. And we can't just tell him the truth about what's happened, he won't believe it and he'll probably refuse to have anything else to do with us. So we have to let him maintain his current life for some weeks, at least until the memories are triggered in full."

"Can we see him?" asked Tosh. Jack hesitated.

"I think if we all started turning up at that little cafe he'd get a bit freaked out. But maybe if it's not too often. Maybe weekly?" Tosh grinned, delighted.

"Except for you, right Captain?" commented Owen sarcastically.

"Well, I told him I was a regular customer. He expects me to be there several times a week. At least." Jack's smile was just a little bit smug as he sat back in his chair. He was going to get his Ianto back.

* * *

"So you've visited 'Tristyn' several times, then?" asked Owen bitterly. "You haven't already slept with him as well, have you?"

"Owen!" cried Tosh. They were back in the main part of the hub.

"No, thank you Owen; I've a little more propriety than that," replied Jack. "I've just been having coffee. Although, today he sat and chatted to me on his break. Said it was weird, but it felt like he'd known me for years." Jack grinned cheekily.

"Well that's a good sign," said Gwen. "That's what happened for most subjects -people & places being inexplicably familiar."

"So, we need to find an object of Ianto's, right?" asked Owen. Now that the decision had been made, he was happy to try and help get Ianto back -he _did_ want him back after all. He just hadn't been certain it was the right thing to do.

"That could be a bit difficult," said Tosh. "When he first disappeared and we were looking for clues, I searched the Tourist Office, remember? And he'd cleared it out. No personal items left."

"He cleared his things from my bunker too," said Jack.

"Ianto kept things in your bunker?" asked Gwen, wide-eyed. That didn't sound like the casual relationship she thought they were having.

"Just a few -change of clothes and overnight stuff, for convenience." Jack ignored the implications in Gwen's question.

"So what happens if we can't find anything?" asked Tosh, suddenly concerned. "We apparently need an object that will be a strong reminder of his time here, but we don't even have any to choose from."

"I don't know," sighed Jack. "We'll just have to keep an eye out and see if we can find anything. Hopefully he missed something. In the meantime," he switched back to business mode, "there's rift activity predicted for tonight, so let's make sure we're organised and ready for whatever comes through." He headed to his office as the others grumbled and went to their own workstations.

* * *

A few days later they were having a quiet morning with no rift activity predicted, so Jack suggested they could use the opportunity to visit Llanishen. He took the SUV since Tristyn had already seen him driving it, and made sure he arrived a few minutes before the rest of the team.

"Good to see you again, sir." Tristyn's smile was genuinely warm. Jack had always found Ianto attractive but this open happiness was magnetising. He couldn't help but grin equally in return.

"Good to see you too. The usual, thanks."

"Coming right up."

"Busy in here today," Jack commented. Tristyn flushed.

"Jessie says the word's gotten out about my coffee, but I think it's just coincidence."

"Oh no," Jack laughed. "I've tasted your coffee, and I'd have to agree with her." Tristyn ducked his head again, clearly embarrassed. Jack took his coffee and chose a table near the counter this time, partially for it's closeness to Tristyn, and partially so he could keep an eye on the team when they arrived. He pulled out a newspaper and flicked through it, not really reading.

A minute later he saw Owen's car pull up, and the three teammates piled out. Jack saw Owen say something to the girls before they came in. Then he led them straight to the counter, and gave Tristyn his order.

"What did you two want?" he said to Tosh & Gwen.

"Flat white, no sugar, thanks," said Tosh, then nudged Gwen who was struggling not to stare at Tristyn.

"Oh, sorry, flat white, two sugars." Owen paid for all three and then steered the girls to a table near the window. He tried but failed to prevent Gwen getting the seat facing the counter, and within moments Gwen was looking straight at Tristyn again. Jack groaned inwardly. It didn't matter how well Gwen understood a situation when discussing it beforehand, once she was in the thick of it her emotions tended to overrule logic and sense every time. It was a problem and a liability. He reached up to activate his comms.

"Gwen, eyes on your coffee. Tristyn's going to be creeped out if you keep staring like that," he muttered, whilst glancing down at his newspaper. Gwen's eyes suddenly flicked down to her drink as Owen sent a look of gratitude to across the room to Jack. Luckily, the busy crowd of the cafe was keeping Tristyn plenty occupied, so he hadn't had a chance to notice.

Jack continued to half-read the paper, a little bit frustrated that he couldn't hear their conversation. Pity one of them hadn't accidentally left their comms open. At a glance though, he could probably guess what they were saying. Owen was sighing contentedly over his quality coffee fix. The girls were all smiles and Gwen would be making a comment about how happy and healthy Tristyn looked. Jack had to agree -even on a busy day like this, when the work never stopped, Tristyn had an air of satisfaction with life and work. He smiled at customers, joked with his co-workers and took pride in his job.

Jack could understand why Owen had been concerned about the morality of intentionally triggering Ianto's memories; he was clearly happy here, and they could ruin that. But it could always be fixed again, and Jack couldn't consider leaving him be. No, they had to bring him back, and then let him make his choice. If he chose this mundane life over Torchwood again, then so be it, but Jack had to hope that that wouldn't be the case.

Tristyn appeared from behind the counter, clearing the table next to Jack. He nodded at the newspaper.

"Quiet one at your work then? No paperwork today?"

"No, left it behind for once. Wasn't in the mood this morning."

"Ah, to be the boss, and simply not be 'in the mood' for work," Tristyn teased, and Jack laughed.

"One of the perks, for sure. Delegation, that's another good one," he joked.

"And I'm sure you make good use of it." Tristyn grinned. He picked up his tray, now loaded with dirty cups and used serviettes. "If you'll excuse me." Jack glanced across the room as Tristyn left, and caught his team watching him: Tosh smiling, Gwen smirking and Owen rolling his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Continued love to everyone reading this :) Special extra thanks to specialfrancine and Aviv_b for being brilliant reviewers.**

**Brief reference made to Greeks Bearing Gifts here, but barely enough to constitute a spoiler.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

**

* * *

**

Now that the team knew, Jack didn't have any problems ducking out to Llanishen regularly. He went out there most days, and due to a run of good luck with the rift, was often able to time it for Tristyn's afternoon break. Tristyn always joined him on those occasions, and Jack found himself looking forward to their conversations. They kept it impersonal but each was clearly enjoying the other's company.

A week after their first visit, the team headed out for a morning coffee again. Jack opted not to go with them this time, preferring the quieter afternoons. He warned them not to get chatty with Tristyn though -for the man to find one customer strangely familiar was incidental, but if it happened with four of his customers, it would be suspicious. In an effort to minimise any confusion Tristyn experienced before his memory was restored, they decided to avoid the situation if they could.

They still hadn't been able to find any objects that might be suitable triggers though. There were lots of things in the hub that Ianto had touched or used: stationary, artifacts, various cleaning equipment -but nothing that might be meaningful enough to him. Jack suspected even the coffee machine wouldn't work, given Tristyn's current occupation. He'd clearly been as thorough and efficient in removing his personal items as he was in all his tasks.

The team arrived noisily back at the hub.

"Jack!" Gwen called. "We've brought lunch back with us. Meet you upstairs."

They clattered up the stairs, joking and mucking around as they went and Jack smiled as he rose from his desk to join them. He paused to check the rift activity and rift predictor programs at Tosh's workstation on his way up, and frowned at the results.

"Better eat quick, people," he said as he entered the conference room. "Rift activity predicted in half an hour."

The rift activity turned out to be a friendly Arcateenian ship who'd stumbled into the rift accidentally. They were confused to find themselves a few galaxies away from where they'd been only moments ago, but with some explanation and guidance from Jack & Tosh, they were soon on their way again. Jack was relieved that Toshiko didn't get to see what the Arcateenians looked like -a run in with Mary's people could have stirred up some bad memories.

As it was, the incident and the paperwork it created filled the afternoon, and Jack didn't get to visit Llanishen that day.

The next day Jack wandered into the cafe at the usual time, and Tristyn smiled at him as he approached the counter.

"Take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute." Jack smiled as he turned and found a table.

"How are you today?" Tristyn asked, putting down their coffees and pulling up a chair.

"Fine thanks, you?"

"I'm fine." Jack was about to take a sip of his coffee but heard something in the other man's voice. He stopped to look at him properly. Tristyn looked tired.

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, it's nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing. Are you ok?"

Tristyn sighed.

"Just haven't been sleeping well, that's all. Keep having these weird dreams. Not sure if I should call them nightmares -some of them are frightening, I guess, though not all. But they're all bizarre. In any case, they're really vivid and once I wake up, I can't get back to sleep."

"What sort of things are in these dreams?"

"Well, it seems childish actually." Ianto gave a quiet laugh. "I see monsters. All sorts of different things. Like my imagination's gone into overdrive all of a sudden."

"And what are they doing?"

"The monsters? It varies. Sometimes they're attacking me, or I'm being chased. But sometimes I'm chasing them."

"Ah, those are the good dreams," Jack joked. "The ones where you're doing the chasing." They laughed.

"Thanks," said Tristyn, looking happier. "It's surprising how much better you feel just talking about these things. Even if I still feel a bit silly." Jack waved it off, but a thought occurred to him -these dreams were clearly memories. Seeing Jack and the team must have triggered _something_ in the young man's mind. If more memories, ones that weren't just about 'monsters' started coming up, Tristyn was going to start getting very confused. He made a quick decision.

"Hey, tell you what," he said, reaching for his stock of plain-looking business cards. "I really don't sleep much, I'm up all sorts of hours. Next time you get a weird dream, give me a call. Maybe if you talk about it at the time, you'll be able to get back to sleep." Tristyn looked uncertain.

"Oh, no, I couldn't do that -this is like, 2am, 3am in the morning."

"No, really," Jack insisted. "I'm often awake at those hours. Please, don't hesitate to call me."

"OK." Tristyn looked unconvinced, but took the card anyway. "Thanks."

"It's nothing." Jack smiled. "So, got any plans for this weekend?" Tristyn smiled and shook his head, pleased to move the conversation on. They fell back into their usual easy companionship.

* * *

Later, Toshiko knocked on the open door of Jack's office. He waved her in and she sat down opposite.

"I've been thinking.." she began, looking concerned and a bit hesitant. Jack waited patiently.

"Well, we haven't been able to find any trigger objects for Ianto, and he moved house so there's nothing left at his old place, so I thought maybe we should check his new place or else we won't be able to find any trigger objects at all and we might never get him back," she blurted all at once. Then she stopped herself, looking nervous, hands clasped tightly together in her lap. Jack realised what she was anxious about and almost smiled.

"Are you suggesting a break and enter operation, Ms Sato?"

"No! Well, sort of.. yes." She looked down, clearly expecting Jack to disapprove. He leaned back in his chair.

"You're right, we need to find something and it's clear there isn't anything here. However, I don't know if there would be anything in his new flat either. If Ianto was careful to remove any possible trigger objects from the hub, he certainly wouldn't have left those same items lying around his new place."

Tosh's face fell as she realised Jack was right.

"Do you think he got rid of everything then?"

Jack frowned.

"No. Ianto was sentimental, and despite everything, I would like to think he had some good memories of his time here. Last time I visited his old flat there were still a few photos of Lisa around, even though it had been months since the cyberman incident. I think, more likely, he has kept some things but put them away somewhere. Like a long-term storage locker. Maybe you could run some checks, see if there are any local storage companies renting to Ianto or Tristyn?"

"Of course!" Tosh was delighted that there was something productive she could do that might help. She started out of the office, then paused.

"Oh, Jack -I don't know what surname he's using now."

"Lewis. It's Tristyn Lewis. Typical Welsh name still," Jack grinned. Tosh laughed as she headed to her desk.

* * *

The next few days were busy as the rift and the weevils seemed to get restless simultaneously. No sooner had they finished catching a rogue weevil, than find a lost alien on their metaphorical doorstep needing directions. Then the rift had spat out some objects and it took the team half a day to locate and safely contain them. Tosh spent hours trying to work out what they were and if they were dangerous, but then another weevil sighting came in and interrupted any progress. With only a few hours break, reports came in of odd lights and sounds at the Cosmeston Medieval Village in Lower Penarth, and Jack was obliged to send Gwen and Owen out to run some scans and check there was no alien involvement. There wasn't, as far as they could tell, but they had to make the effort. And sure enough, as soon as it got dark, more weevils came out to play.

So there was a collective sigh of relief on the fourth morning when the rift predictor claimed the next 24 hours would be dead quiet. None of them had gotten more than a few hour's sleep at a time, and that was mostly taking turns to nap on the couch. So Jack ordered them all to take the day off and go home to bed.

Feeling the need for a break himself, he went down to his bunker, put on some Glen Miller, and laid back on his camp bed. He surprised himself by waking up 5 hours later -the last few days must have exhausted him more than he thought. Checking the time, he realised he had just enough time to shower and change before heading out to Llanishen in time for Tristyn's afternoon break.

He was actually five minutes early, he noted with satisfaction as he parked the SUV. He hurried inside, eager to see Tristyn again.

"Ah, you're back," said that affectionate Welsh accent. Jack grinned.

"Did you miss me?"

"Well.." Tristyn pretended to think it over. "I thought maybe you'd found a better cup of coffee elsewhere, and moved on from this little place."

"Blasphemy! There's no such thing!" said Jack, and they laughed. Tristyn checked the time.

"I'll be over in a couple of minutes." Jack nodded and took his coffee to a table. He had grabbed a paper on his way out of the hub and he browsed it while he waited. A short time later, Tristyn arrived with his own coffee and a piece of cake for each of them.

"Try this, it's Meredith's latest creation."

Jack's eyes lit up.

"What is it?"

"Vanilla and caramel cheesecake." Tristyn took a bite and groaned. "Amazing. That woman can really bake." Jack took a bite of his and had to agree. It was delicious.

"So who's Meredith?"

"A friend of my boss; she makes all the cakes and pastries we sell." Tristyn looked at Jack. "So where have you been? If you were going away on business for a few days I thought you might have mentioned it one of those afternoons before you left."

"Oh, no, sorry, I didn't go anywhere. Work has just been really hectic, couldn't get away. Just one of those times when everything was happening at once." Tristyn nodded in acceptance of this. "So how are you? You look like you're sleeping better?"

"Yeah," Tristyn replied once he had finished his mouthful of cheesecake. "I went to the chemist, got some sleeping tablets. Or 'sleeping aids' he called them -they don't knock me out, just help me to sleep more deeply. Seems to be helping. I'm not waking up in the night or remembering any dreams. Of course, it's only a short term solution, but hopefully they won't come back."

"I hope not," agreed Jack. He didn't think it'd be a problem -the dreams were just a side-effect of small amounts of memory returning, or leaking through. The sleeping tablets wouldn't change the effectiveness of a trigger object, and if it meant Tristyn could get some sleep in the meantime, then that was fine by him.

He relaxed as they chatted away as though there hadn't been a break. It had only been 4 days after all, but Jack found that he'd missed it. And more than that, he still missed Ianto. He missed the quiet, steady companionship, always waiting at his shoulder, always anticipating his needs. He liked Tristyn of course -he was the same man, after all -but it wasn't the same as having him around all the time. Jack hoped fervently that they'd find a trigger soon.

* * *

The next day everyone was back to work as normal. Jack stepped out of his office.

"Tosh, any luck with finding storage lockers in Ianto's name?"

"Oh, sorry -I'd forgotten about that." She typed some commands to bring up the results of the search that had run several days earlier. "I searched for anything under either Ianto Jones or Tristyn Lewis, hired in the time since you first left, Jack, but there was nothing. Zero results."

"Really? Nothing?"

Owen looked over at Tosh and Jack.

"You thought he'd have a storage locker Jack?"

"Yeah, I didn't think Ianto was the kind of guy to throw out his most meaningful possessions, but he obviously isn't keeping them on his bedside table. I thought he'd have stored them away somewhere."

"Well maybe he has -it's just not a hired locker."

"But if we're talking other kinds of storage or hiding places, then it could be literally anywhere," said Gwen, wandering over from her workstation.

"No, hang on," said Tosh. "If Ianto hid certain things away, and then retconned himself, how would he ever find them again?"

"He could have left himself a note, directions or something," suggested Owen.

"And then, having no idea what they're for, he would follow his own instructions and almost immediately trigger his memories. No, he's smarter than that," concluded Jack.

"Unless," countered Owen, "he arranged for the note to be securely held by a third party and later delivered back to himself at some prearranged time. You know, like in '_Back to the Future_', when Marty receives the letter 70 years after Doc sent it."

The other three stared at him for a minute, then Gwen snorted and Tosh turned away as she tried to hide a smile. Jack folded his arms across his chest.

"Even if that was a reasonable idea, Ianto wouldn't do it, because he wouldn't want any third party to be involved."

Gwen was still snickering and Tosh appeared to be concentrating hard on her monitors.

"Oh come on guys! It's wasn't that stupid a suggestion!" Owen argued, to more laughter.

"_Anyway_," said Jack. "I think, perhaps Tosh, you may have been right in the first place. What we need is probably in his new place, although boxed up or buried in the bottom of a drawer to prevent accidental discovery."

"So.. we break in?"

"We'll check it out. Probably best if I go alone. I'll have a look around once he's left for work tomorrow."

"No way," said Tosh. "I'm coming."

"Me too," said Owen. Jack looked at each of them, then nodded. They all looked at Gwen, who sighed.

"I'll stay here and hold the fort, shall I?" she said. "I can keep an eye on CCTV and make sure he doesn't come home unexpectedly."


	8. Chapter 8

**WARNING: Some views on death and suicide here that might offend. Although it's not quite the same as just anybody's death, so.. yeah. **

**And YAY getting close to the end now! I love this chapter, hope you all do too!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

**

* * *

**

That night the hub was quiet, and Jack was bored. He was anticipating seeing Tristyn's flat, and was impatient for the next morning to come, but the hours were dragging by. About midnight he gave up. He grabbed his greatcoat and left a note telling Tosh & Owen to meet him in Llanishen the next morning.

Twenty minutes later he stood on the roof of an apartment building across the street from Tristyn's flat. He knew which one it was; Tosh had looked up the building plans so they'd know where they were going later. He settled in to wait. Funny how waiting here, so close yet so far, alone in the dark, was easier than waiting back at the hub.

Jack wasn't expecting anything to happen until much closer to dawn, when Tristyn & the rest of his neighbourhood would begin to rouse themselves for another day. So he was surprised when a light came on in Tristyn's flat an hour or so later. Then, a minute later, a second one. _Bedroom and living room, or bedroom and kitchen_, Jack thought, trying to remember the layout of the rooms. The windows were heavily curtained so he couldn't see anything.

The lights were on for about 10 minutes, and then they were switched back off -_but in the wrong order_, thought Jack. The bedroom light was turned off first. Then he heard a noise and looked down. He watched as Tristyn emerged from the building and closed the door behind him. He was trying to be quiet about it, but everything's loud in the dead of the night. He turned and stalked off up the road, hands deep in jacket pockets, head down and shoulders hunched.

Jack debated what to do. Should he follow him? If Tristyn spotted him it'd be impossible to explain. Should he take the opportunity to break in? He watched as Tristyn reached the street corner and turned out of sight. No, there was no way of knowing how long he'd be gone, and it would be even harder to explain that if he was caught. Maybe he should just leave him be, stick to the plan? Jack was torn. He wanted to know where Tristyn was going -maybe it would give them a clue as to where his old belongings might be? But he was risking his close friendship with the man if anything went wrong, and he was loathe to do that. He wrestled with himself for another few minutes, before realising it was probably too late to try and follow Tristyn now -he could have taken any number of turns in those couple of minutes. Finding him would be a matter of luck.

With a growl of frustration he went back to his position watching the street. A moment later, his phone rang, and he pulled it out in surprise. He didn't recognise the number. Was it an emergency call from UNIT or the government?

"Yes?" he said, smoothing out any emotion in his voice.

"Jack? Oh my god, I'm so sorry to call but I, I need help, and I didn't know who else I could ring.." the voice was terrified, almost sobbing, and it took Jack a moment to realise it was Tristyn.

"Tristyn? What's wrong?" Jack tried to think ahead and figure out what it could be but he was drawing a blank.

"I.. I saw.. oh god, I think I'm going crazy."

"It's ok Tristyn," Jack assured him. "Where are you? Do you want me to come over?"

"I'm -I'm not home."

"OK, just tell me where you are and I'll be right there." Tristyn described his location, on a road beside a reserve a few streets away. Less than two minutes later, Jack ran around the corner and saw him. He was sitting on a park bench, with his knees tucked up under his chin, looking like a child trying to curl up in a ball. He'd intentionally chosen a bench that was directly under a street light. He started when he heard Jack's approach and jumped as though to run away before he saw who it was. He stopped himself, then settled back on the bench and visibly tried to pull himself together.

Jack wanted to run straight to him, put his arms around the young man and promise him he'd protect him from whatever it was. Instead, he slowed to a walk, and sat down on the other end of the bench. After a moment, Tristyn lifted his head.

"That was quick."

"I wasn't far away. And I was already up. I told you I don't sleep much."

There was a moment's silence.

"So, what happened?" asked Jack. "I thought it must have been a nightmare, but you don't normally sleep out here, do you?"

"There was a nightmare, monsters again. I ran out of sleeping tablets," Tristyn explained. "I.. I didn't want to call you, and I thought maybe a walk would help clear my head."

"But..?"

"But then one of the monsters from my dreams came to life. I saw it -I saw a weevil."

Jack was gobsmacked. How did he know..?

"What's a weevil?" he asked carefully.

"It's this.. thing, a monster," said Tristyn. "Similar body to ours but with a big head, big jaw jutting out and tiny sunken, eyes. And skin like a severe burns victim." He looked at Jack suddenly. "Am I seeing things? Am I crazy? Oh god, maybe I should be put away."

"No, no, you're not crazy," said Jack gently. "Come on, I think we'd better have a talk."

* * *

Tristyn led Jack into his apartment.

"Coffee?" he asked.

"Love one," Jack replied. Tristyn indicated he should make himself comfortable in the living room whilst he went into the kitchen. Jack took the opportunity to look around. The apartment was nicely furnished, but it was very different to Ianto's old place. Everything seemed brand new, and barely lived in, like a display home. There was a bookcase filled with books and some DVDs, but Jack noticed a distinct lack of personal touches -no knick-knacks, no photos. The team had guessed right -Ianto hadn't taken any chances with items that might trigger his memory.

Tristyn came into the room with two mugs, and handed one to Jack. They sat down on separate lounge chairs.

"Sorry, it's a bit stark in here," Tristyn said. "I didn't bring a lot with me from London."

"And you bought all new furniture when you got here?"

"Yeah, I wanted a fresh start, and it seemed like the easier option." Tristyn leaned back and sipped his drink. The walk back from the park and the familiar act of making coffee had served to calm the young man down. Jack decided to get straight into it.

"So, you saw an ugly monster thing, that you had seen before in your dreams, and it's called a weevil?"

"Yeah."

"How do you know what it's called?"

There was a pause as confusion played across Tristyn's face.

"I don't know," he said eventually. "I swear I've never seen one before, but I know they're called weevils." He hesitated. "Maybe it's just my imagination making it up."

"No, it's not," said Jack. "They really are called weevils." Tristyn's head snapped up to stare at Jack.

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"They are called weevils. Well, we don't know if that's what they'd call themselves, but they don't talk real good, so we call them weevils."

Tristyn frowned.

"Who's 'we'?"

"Torchwood. My organisation."

"So, how come _I_ know what they're called?"

"Because you used to work for me," said Jack. Tristyn laughed.

"No, I think I would remember that."

"It's true," Jack insisted, but Tristyn was still shaking his head in disbelief.

"So, what about all the other monsters I've been seeing in my dreams?"

"They're all real too. It's not your imagination showing you these things, it's your memory."

"Then how come I don't remember them when I'm awake? Why don't I remember seeing them in real life?" Tristyn jumped up and started pacing the length of the room. Jack followed him with his eyes.

"You.. you wanted to leave. You used a drug we have, to wipe your own memory, so you would forget." He took a deep breath. "That's why you don't remember working for me."

"What?" Tristyn stopped and stared at Jack again. Then he laughed. "You're insane. This is insane. This is all crazy. Someone's idea of a sick joke." He started pacing again. Jack waited. Tristyn eventually turned back to face him.

"_If_ -and I don't believe it, by the way -but _if_ this was true, why would I do that?" he asked. "Why would I wipe my own memory?"

Jack looked away guiltily.

"Was I a coward?" Tristyn asked. "Was I too scared to face it any more?" He shuddered at the thought of some of the creatures he'd seen in his dreams.

"No, no -definitely not," Jack said quickly. "You were many things, but definitely not a coward."

"Then why?"

Jack sighed.

"Because I went away. I -I had some things I needed to do."

"Oh. Right. My boss goes away on business and next thing you know, I'm wiping my own memory. That sounds reasonable," Tristyn said sarcastically.

"It wasn't quite like that," Jack muttered.

"Then what was it like?"

"We.." Jack hesitated, looking at the carpet intensely. "We were.. close."

Tristyn stopped and stared again, unwilling to believe the implications. He shook his head. This was too much.

"Out," he said suddenly. "Get out." Jack looked up in surprise. Tristyn angrily grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up, then pushed him forward. Jack didn't resist.

"Ok, ok, I'll go," he said as they moved towards the door. "But let me say this: the man I knew before would have kept at least a few things that reminded him of that time. He wouldn't have thrown everything away. If you can find one of those things, it should trigger the rest of the memories for you."

"Shut up," Tristyn grated through his teeth as they reached his door. "Don't come back, you got that? I don't want to see you again." He slammed the door shut behind Jack and immediately locked it. Then he leaned against the wall and sank to the ground.

On the other side, Jack leaned against the wall with his face buried in his hands. Could that have gone any worse? This was exactly why they hadn't told Tristyn the truth when they first found him. He sighed, straightened up, then left.

* * *

Jack was in his office a few hours later when the others arrived, bright and early, ready to see what they could find in Tristyn's flat. Owen approached him, with Tosh just behind.

"Right, Jack, ready to go stalk the Teaboy?" asked Owen.

"We're not going."

"What?" asked Tosh. "But we have to, we have to find-"

"I said, we're not going!" Jack snapped. "No-one is going anywhere near Llanishen today, understood!"

Owen took a step back; Tosh looked shocked.

"Right," said Owen after a pause. "I'm sure we have other work to get on with, don't we Tosh?" He turned and steered her out of Jack's office. They went to her workstation, speaking in low voices.

"Something's happened overnight."

"Yeah, but what?" asked Tosh.

"See if there's any clues on the system," Owen suggested. He looked up as Jack appeared in the doorway of his office.

"If you need me, I'll be in the shooting range. And by 'need', I mean 'only if the world is ending'."

Jack stalked off across the hub as his colleagues stared at his back. When he was out of sight, Gwen hurried over.

"What the hell was that?" she asked, eyes wide.

"Not sure. Tosh is looking to see if anything went on here last night. Since we're not heading out to check Tristyn's apartment today after all."

Gwen gaped. Tosh was busily typing away.

"Right, looks like Jack went out about midnight, and returned about quarter to three. There were no weevil alerts, no rift activity, nothing to indicate where he went or why," she summarised.

"Well I think I could take a pretty good stab at 'where'," said Owen angrily. "I'm going to find out what happened." He headed after Jack.

"Owen! Are you sure that's a good idea?" called Gwen worriedly. Owen ignored her. Tosh & Gwen exchanged concerned glances.

* * *

Owen thought that when he stepped into the shooting range, he might find Jack destroying targets in a fury. He also suspected he might well find himself becoming one of those targets, and possibly getting shot. What he wasn't expecting, was to find Jack sitting with his back against the wall, breathing raggedly, grimacing in pain and bleeding from the stomach.

"Jack! What the hell!" He ran the few short steps to Jack's side. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"The world's ending already?"

"Bullet wound to the lower abdomen. Just the one?" Owen asked, trying to stem the flow. "You know, I didn't pick you for an emo."

Jack pushed him away. "Leave it."

"Why?"

"It's a penance. And if anyone has the right to be 'emo', it's the man who has to lose everything, over and over," he said wearily. Owen moved back, then turned and sat against the wall beside Jack. They sat quietly for a minute, only Jack's laboured breathing breaking the silence. Owen looked over at Jack.

"So, why come to the shooting range to do this? You could've shot yourself anywhere. The bathroom would be much easier to clean."

"I didn't actually intend this when I came down here."

"Really? You going to tell me you shot yourself in the stomach accidentally?"

"No. I just didn't decide to do it until after I arrived."

Another pause.

"How long?"asked Jack.

"Sorry?"

"How long do I have before I die?"

Owen reached over for Jack's wrist and felt for his pulse. It was weak but still detectable.

"Not sure. Maybe 5 minutes? I'm not an expert in the exact timing of various causes of death. And it depends on the blood flow." He paused. "How long before you come back?"

"The slower the death, the longer it takes. Doesn't take nearly as long as dying though."

"Except with Abaddon?"

"Abaddon was different. Bullets don't suck the life force out of you."

Owen figured that was true enough as they returned to silence again. Jack's breathing became shallower.

"So, what happened last night?" Owen asked eventually.

"Tristyn called me. He'd seen a weevil."

"There weren't any alerts last night."

"Our scanners don't pick up everything. I didn't see it myself, but I suspect it wasn't far from a sewer entrance, and possibly the ground level there was low enough to be considered 'below ground' by the scanner. And it probably ran back into the sewer when it saw him. It certainly didn't attack."

"Ok, so what happened?"

"Tristyn was terrified, and confused, and thought he needed to be committed. Especially when he realised he knew what a weevil was but not why he knew it. So I told him the truth."

Owen swore.

"And the truth went down like a lead balloon?"

"Pretty much." Jack was gasping the words out now. Owen felt strange, settling back to wait for Jack's death, instead of fighting to prevent it. It went against all his instincts as a doctor.

Two long, drawn-out minutes later, Jack died. Nine minutes after that, he revived. He flailed briefly, then calmed, and noticed Owen watching him closely.

"Ugh," he groaned. "I should've laid down before the end. That first breath hurts when you're bent over."

"I think it's going to take me a bit to get used to that," said Owen.

"Hopefully you won't see it too often," Jack replied. "I try not to make it a habit."

They sat there a moment longer as Jack recovered his strength.

"What are we going to do about Ianto?" asked Owen.

"I don't know. Give him some space, for now."


	9. Chapter 9

**This is it people! I'm giving you the last chapter and the epilogue in one hit. Thank you to everyone who alerted me or this story, it's beyond flattering. I'll have another story up in the next day or so, so keep an eye out for it :)**

**Spoilers for DW: Utopia/Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.**

**

* * *

**

Tristyn sat on the couch in his living room, hands cradling a cold cup of coffee. He had sat on the floor in the hallway for hours after Jack left, eventually only moving when the alarm clock had gone off in his bedroom. He'd stopped it, called his boss to say he was sick, and made himself a coffee. But he'd somehow forgotten to drink it.

He couldn't get his mind around what Jack had told him. The monsters from his dreams were real and wandering around Cardiff? How could that be possible? Surely if that was the case they'd be common knowledge?

No, it was crazy talk, and he mustn't allow himself to think that way. They were just dreams, the result of an overactive imagination. Tristyn vowed to take up regular exercise or some active hobby that would tire him out -maybe then he'd be exhausted enough to sleep without dreams.

And Jack, that _Jack,_ was obviously not the friend he pretended to be. Making up ridiculous lies. Why? To make fun of the little Welshman and his scary dreams? To tease and ridicule him? And maybe, possibly, to get him into bed? After all, that's what he meant by that last comment, hadn't he? He had inferred that they'd had a relationship, presumably so that Tristyn would offer less resistance to the idea of sleeping with Jack. Not that he had a problem with the idea itself -although, he'd never slept with a man before, he had friends who were gay and bi and didn't have an issue with it. And hell, Jack was handsome. But that was a terribly underhanded way of getting someone into bed! It was beyond a joke and into the realm of absurdity.

But then.. the look on Jack's face when he'd said it. He'd been cringing, feeling guilty -not what you'd expect to see on the face of someone trying to get you into bed. And all those afternoon conversations they'd had over the last few weeks had been so easy, such effortless companionship. Not once had Jack been anything but a gentleman, despite clearly being interested in the younger man.

And now that he thought about it, he remembered the first time they'd sat down and chatted over a coffee, and his own feeling of having known the man for years. Which, according to Jack, he had.

Tristyn put down the coffee on the table in front of him, and stood up. What was it he'd said? That he would have kept some things that reminded him of that time, and if he could find one he'd remember everything. Well, it didn't hurt to look, did it? The worst that could happen would be that he didn't find anything.

He stood up and looked around, mentally scanning his flat and picking out possible places he might have hidden something. The first place he thought of was the linen cupboard, either the very top shelf, or the very bottom. They were shelves he would rarely need to access, and therefore ideal places to store things he didn't want himself seeing. Then he dismissed the idea as too obvious.

Then again.. if it was he himself who'd hidden it, maybe the first place he thought of wasn't such a bad idea. He opened the cupboard and knelt down to check the bottom shelf first. He rummaged around but found only bedsheets. He looked up to the top shelf; there were old pillowcases and other rarely-used linens up there. He pulled them down and felt to see if there was anything out of sight at the back. His heart leapt as his fingers found the edges of a box. He pulled it to the edge, then lowered it down.

"Do not open until 2050, or unless terminally ill."

Well. This had to be it. Tristyn took the box back to the living room and sat down on the lounge, placing it on the table next to the forgotten coffee. He was suddenly afraid to open it. Afraid of what might happen if he did. And equally afraid that nothing might happen..

* * *

That afternoon, the rift spat out an odd item, a smooth carved base with curved lines twisting up from it. It was small, about three inches long & wide, and 5 inches tall. It kept the team guessing for several hours, but turned out to be a piece of carved space-rock, nothing more. Jack was pretty certain it was an alien paperweight.

It had served as a useful distraction, but now the team had gone home for the day and Jack was left alone with his thoughts again. Sighing, he decided to get some air.

He was still standing on the roof of the building some hours later, lost in silent contemplation, when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned.

"Tristyn?" Jack asked in confusion.

"No." The young man shook his head. "Ianto." He paused, then a smile started to creep onto his face. Jack grinned in delight and reached out for him, planting a hard kiss on his lips before embracing him tightly. Ianto responded equally, and they held each other for several long moments.

"You came back for me," whispered Ianto as they moved apart.

"Of course."

"I mean, you came back.. and then, all those coffees.."

Jack laughed. "Are you kidding? They were the highlight of my day."

"Mine too," smiled Ianto. Jack put his arm around Ianto's shoulders and held him close, not wanting to let him go. They looked out across the darkened city together.

"How did you know I'd be here?" Jack asked.

"The hub was empty, and I figured it was either here or the Altolusso. But the Altolusso is more for looking forward. When you're looking back, remembering, then it's the roof of City Hall."

"You know me too well."

"I almost didn't know you at all." Ianto shivered. "I'm sorry -I shouldn't have, I should have had more faith that you'd return."

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left the way I did, and that I didn't find a way to let you guys know I'd be back. And I'm sorry for what that put you through." He held the young man tightly as though afraid he'd disappear again.

"So.. you hadn't thrown out everything from Torchwood then?"

"No. I had a box, hidden in the linen cupboard. Some photos, some trinkets. Not much though. I got rid of nearly everything."

"I'm thankful you didn't." There was a pause. "What was it like, when your memories returned?"

"It was like, everything clicking into place. Like waking up. Like coming home."

* * *

A short while later they sat on the couch in the hub with pizza. Jack looked over at Ianto, who was lost in thought, staring into the distance. A slight frown appeared on Ianto's face as he ate.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jack asked. Ianto looked back at him. He put the rest of his slice of pizza down then looked at Jack again, a little unsure of himself.

"Look," he began. "I appreciate that you went to a lot of effort to find me and get me back..." Jack put up a hand to stop him.

"I know," he said. "And the choice is yours. If you want to go back to that life, and be Tristyn Lewis, the average guy who makes a fantastic cup of coffee, then I'll respect that."

"Really?"

Jack nodded.

"Really. I won't force you to be here. I'd like you to, but if you were always wishing you were someone else, somewhere else, you'd only end up resenting Torchwood. And me. I'd rather you were happy."

Ianto nodded and picked up his pizza to take another bite. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each concerned with his own thoughts. Eventually Ianto broke it.

"I.. I need some answers Jack. I can't make a decision when I feel like I only know half the story."

Jack nodded. "I understand. But.. let me begin with this: the time I was away, most of it was.. unpleasant." He wasn't quite able to suppress the pained grimace that crossed his face, and Ianto took note. "So, I can't tell you everything, not yet. But I'll answer what I can."

Ianto made a mental note to try and only ask questions that would give Jack the ability to choose how he answered.

"You left with the Doctor voluntarily, without even pausing to leave a note or call one of us to say where you'd gone. Why? Why didn't you at least let us know?" Jack sighed.

"I had been waiting 140 years for that moment. I didn't know how long I had -the Doctor might have been staying for a few days, or he might have been staying for only a few seconds. I couldn't risk missing him, after waiting so long. And as it turned out, a few seconds later _would _have been too late."

Ianto nodded. They had all seen the CCTV footage -the light on the blue box had indeed started to flash before Jack had reached it, and they had vanished together just moments later.

"So why didn't you send us a message after you left? If we had received anything at all, letting us know you were coming back, I would.. I thought you didn't care about us. We thought: that was it. You found your doctor, so you didn't need Torchwood any more."

Jack's eyes widened as he realised how important this point was. If he'd been able to get a message back, Ianto would never have left; none of this would have happened.

"You know the Doctor can travel to anywhere in time and space, right?" he asked. Ianto nodded. "Well, apparently, because I'm _wrong_," he couldn't help the note of bitterness that crept into that word, "the TARDIS tried to shake me off. Run away from me, if you like. We ended up further away than you can imagine -and they didn't exactly have communications there that could reach back to here." He took a deep breath. "And then, we ended up back on Earth, just after the election."

Ianto's eyes narrowed. "And you didn't call then, because..?"

"Well, I did try, actually. Just once, but no one answered. I didn't get another chance to try, kept busy running from the police and trying to save the world again." Jack tried for his usual lazy grin, but didn't quite make it. "Then I was told that you'd been sent on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas, especially to keep you from helping me."

"The Himalayas?" mused Ianto. "We never ended up going. Gwen was demanding that Rhys be allowed to come, Tosh really doesn't like the cold and wanted to stay behind and give us tech support from here. And Owen and I agreed that the information we'd been given was vague and unhelpful, and there didn't seem to be any reason why it should be us that went. There's enough to keep us busy in Cardiff. So I forwarded it to UNIT, said it had been sent to us by accident, but was of utmost urgency on the request of the PM."

Jack actually laughed at that. "And did they actually send anyone out there?"

"I believe so, sir," said Ianto with a grin. "So, you didn't try to contact us again?" Jack sobered immediately.

"I didn't get a chance. Things were.. urgent. And then," he voice lowered, as though the words were hard to say aloud, "we were.. captured, by the enemy we were trying to defeat." He shuddered. Ianto sat up, concerned, and touched the other man's arm tentatively. Being 'captured' had clearly entailed far more trauma than simply being locked in a cell. Jack's head dropped into his hands, covering his face.

"Jack?" Ianto said after a moment's silence. When Jack answered, his voice wasn't quite steady.

"He knew I couldn't die. So killing me in a new and painful ways each day was his _sport_."

Ianto's mouth dropped open, then he shuffled closer to Jack on the lounge so he could hold him. Jack leaned against him.

"How long?" whispered Ianto. _Two weeks? A whole month?_ he thought, with growing horror.

"Twelve months. A full year."

"Oh, Cariad." Ianto's voice nearly broke just at the thought of it. He held Jack tightly, not letting go until several minutes later when Jack sat up again, having composed himself. He hadn't cried, he was stronger than that, but now he had full control back.

"Anyway," he said, sounding much more normal. "We defeated him in the end."

"But you weren't gone for a year? It's only been four months."

"Time travel, etc, etc," said Jack, laughing a little. "It's complicated.. there was a paradox, and when the paradox was broken, everything went back and that year never happened. According to the Doctor, only those of us in the eye of the storm can remember it. Probably for the best," he admitted. "It wasn't a good year for the Earth."

"So how long were you away for altogether?"

"About fifteen months. And I missed you, Ianto. When I was prisoner I had lots of time to think, and I kept thinking I might never see you again. But hoping I might kept me going."

Ianto smiled at that. There was quiet for a moment, then Jack turned to Ianto.

"Tell me: was Tristyn happy?"

"Yes," said Ianto immediately, much to Jack's chagrin. Ianto looked away, thinking about his time in the other life. "He made friends, and in time they will be very good friends. He has a good job: satisfying, low-stress, and decent money. The area's nice, my flat is nice and will be more homely in a few more months, with more personal items around. So yes, Tristyn is quite happy. He never felt there was anything missing. The brain filled in false memories quite adeptly. And honestly," he admitted, "not having any memory of Torchwood One, or Lisa as a Cyberman, or the daily terrors we face here.. was something of a relief, even if I wasn't aware of it."

Jack mentally sighed. Ianto was right -his life hadn't been easy, but Tristyn's was both easy and happy. Who could argue with that? They sat together in silence for a moment.

"Jack?"

"Yes?"

"Would you do it again? Just leave us, like that?"

Jack paused.

"Only in the most extreme circumstances. And I would do everything I could to make sure you knew where and why I was going. But I will always come back, Ianto. If ever I don't, it's not by choice, believe me."

"Well then," said Ianto. "Tristyn had better give his notice tomorrow."

Jack's head snapped up in surprise.

"Really? Just like that?"

"Of course. You don't really think I could bear to let all my work in the archives go to waste, do you? Not to mention that Cardiff will probably be destroyed by some giant, slimy, pink alien if I'm not around to keep you all properly caffeinated." Jack laughed.

"I believe a certain pteranodon has been missing you too," he added.

"I'll bring her some make-up chocolate tomorrow," smiled Ianto, glancing up towards Myfanwy's nest.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Ianto?"

"Of course. I left because I was hurting, Jack, but you've explained your reasons and I believe you when you say it won't happen again. Not that everything will go back to normal right away of course, but I'm more than willing to stay and give it a chance."

Jack leaned in close to Ianto.

"I won't mess up this time, I swear. I've got a second chance, and I don't intend to waste it," he breathed, and kissed him.


	10. Epilogue

Two weeks later, a black SUV pulled up outside a little cafe in Llanishen. The four occupants piled out, laughing and joking. They headed inside and up to the counter.

"Alright Teaboy, you know what we like," said Owen. The young Welshman behind the counter smiled back at them.

"I've got another few minutes before my break -I'll join you soon."

Owen and Jack waited for the coffees whilst the girls found a table they could all fit at, and they sat down to wait for the fifth and last member of the group to join them.

"By the way, Owen," said Tosh. "You never did end up telling us what killed the mayfly. What was it that got you so excited?"

"Oh that." Owen had forgotten. "Turned out it was killed by something this side of the rift after all."

"What?" asked Jack in surprise.

"Yeah, little thing known as nosemosis. It's a microsporidia, normally only affects bees here on Earth, but apparently our alien friend was susceptible. It managed to pick up a bunch of spores in that short dash over the countryside, and they'd taken up residence in it's gut something vicious."

"Well, at least we'll never have to worry about a mayfly invasion," joked Gwen.

"Discussing work again? Shame on you," said a teasing voice from behind her as Ianto joined them.

"How does it feel, 'Tristyn's last day'?" asked Tosh.

"It's a bit surreal actually. I've only been here ten weeks but they made me feel so at home. It's a shame, really. In another life I could have been happy here." He looked wistful for a moment as he looked around at the little shop, before focussing back on his teammates. "But of course, this is _this_ life, and I know where I would rather be," he grinned.

"Bet they're going to miss your coffee round here," said Jack, and Ianto laughed.

"I've heard nothing but complaints about that for two weeks straight! And they've said I have to stay back after the shop closes this evening -I think Jessie has been plotting with Meredith to have a farewell cake for me." Ianto was embarrassed but clearly pleased.

"So, Ianto, I've been curious," said Gwen. "What was the object that brought your memory back? What was your trigger?"

Ianto suddenly shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and somehow managed to look even more embarrassed. This only served to heighten the team's interest in his answer.

"Um, well, actually, it was my stopwatch."

They all burst out laughing.

"You and that bloody stopwatch!" said Owen, but only Jack really knew why Ianto had flushed so red as he said it.


End file.
